How Great is Our God

So much has happened since my last post - I wrote a little about it here, if you'd like to read.  I always vow to be a more consistent blogger, but the only thing that seems to remain consistent is my inconsistency.  Oh well...there's only time for so much.

Through all of my recent adventures and experiences, I've come to realize some really cool things & I thought I'd take a moment on this overcast, Sunday afternoon to share.  Grab your favorite iced drink, or maybe crank the ac and put on your sweats (as I like to do...shhhh, that'll be our little secret - till the next power bill arrives atleast) and read on...

Over the past 2 weeks or so, I've found myself being a listening ear to many friends and acquaintances around me.  Not one word shared has gone unfelt, unheard, uncared or unprayed-for.  (I'll come back to this in a minute.)  My husband shared a video of Louie Giglio from the "How Great is Our God" tour (click the link to watch, I highly recommend it. It puts life into perspective.) in the high school youth group last week and it struck a heart string.  For those who don't have time to watch, Louie shares pictures of our solar system and beyond to give us an idea of how vast God's creation really is and how small we are in the grand picture.  This has been something God's been repeatedly showing me since my last post.

When taking off from our small little airport a few weeks ago, I looked down and saw my "city" below - becoming smaller and smaller with each second that passed, till it was but a blurry spot below the clouds.  "That's my world," I thought.  "All of my problems, my fears, my possessions, my loved ones, my memories - most of them belong right there and (morbid, but true) it could all be wiped away in an instant and the world would go on."  With that thought came, "but somehow in the smallness of my world, God cares."  He cares.  He cares so much that He called me by name and invited me into personal relationship with Him.  The only thing my mind can possibly relate this to is ants in an ant farm - it's as if I had an ant farm on my kitchen counter and I somehow knew each ant personally.  Imagine if I named them and then invited them to get to know me.  Sure they're busy little creatures, running frantically to find their next grain to offer to their queen, they're distracted, but they've been invited and with that invitation comes my love, affection, care, protection and concern.  That sounds ridiculous, I know, but it's the only image I can put to God calling me out of this world and offering me life & love.  I so quickly get caught up in my little world and I (meaning to or not) make it all about me.  It's amazing and awesome that He cares.  In the midst of say, caring for and tending to the universe, He takes time to listen to and care for me (and you if you let Him).

Bringing it back to the burdens I've carried for my friends who are hurting.  I think of the bridge in the song "Hosanna":

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity


That song has become an ernest prayer of mine, and I'm seeing it happen before my very eyes.  He's breaking my heart for the things my friends and family (& the world) around me are experiencing and I believe this is a very small taste of the burden He feels for our pain and our heartache.  He cares.  I don't know who's reading this and/or what you're going through, but as my heart breaks for the people around me these days, know that He cares whether you know Him personally or not.  Contrary to what the media would like you to believe, there's a God who created YOU and He cares for His creation.  


Lots of love and prayers being sent to people around me these days...

Love is Stirring...

Happy 2010! I'm sure you welcomed the new year with style. I hope it was a fabulous week of Holidays for all! :) I certainly had my fair share of celebration - the newlyweds thoroughly enjoyed their first Christmas & New Year together, it was just wonderful!

With the new year has come fresh inspiration, new dreams and hope for the wonderful 365 days ahead! We had a low key New Years Eve. I had to work and Brenton was pretty wiped out from the day's events; so needless to say, it was just the two of us sprawled out on our beautiful new couch (which we are so very blessed to have), watching the New York City ball drop and counting down the minutes till we could raise high our glasses and sip our sparkling cider to 2010. As we were cleaning things up and getting ready to call it a day, I couldn't help but be a little excited about waking up to a fresh start. The following morning I found myself writing down my New Year's Resolutions as I usually do Jan 1st of every year - in my new journal, snuggled up on my new couch and listening to my new husband tinker around one room over, (are you catching my theme here? ;) I stopped to think about all the newness in my life and was reminded that in Him all things are made new and beautiful. He truly has made all things in my life new and beautiful and I couldn't be more grateful and more excited about what's to come. Brenton has recently taken over the high school youth group for the year and we've been talking about the things we're looking forward to doing with the kids as we get to know them. It blows my mind sometimes when I think that God has allowed Brenton and I to be an influence in these kid's lives - high school was such a pivotal season in my life, a time where I was faced with the decision to truly follow the footsteps of Christ or walk away, choosing to do my own thing. Praise God I chose to follow Him, but it wasn't an easy decision and if it hadn't been for the beautiful and courageous women God had placed around me at that time, I probably wouldn't have stood as strongly in my decision. So here I am, on the other side - with the opportunity to be that influence in these young lives. What an incredible privilege! With that said, I've been praying/thinking about ways to be that influence and it hit me like a ton of bricks (or as I usually say to Brenton, like an 18 wheeler) - it's so simple, live out the Bible. Truly put flesh, bones and breath to the Word of God. As that was sinking in, I found myself directed to an all familiar verse, James 1:27 (NIV) "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." - and thus a flame was sparked.

I can't help but grin when I think of how simple the gospel is, but how incredibly complicated I tend to make it. If we are to impact these kids (and be impacted by them), we need to learn how to be the hands and feet of God. His absence is growing here on earth, not by His doing, but by man's as they push and shove Him out of everything they do. Never before has the world seen a time where they so desperately need the hands and feet of Jesus. I don't know about you, but I want as much of Him as I can get before His return, who knows what this world will be like by then.

I have yet to talk with Brenton about my revelation, but over a brunch date with my mom this morning that flame turned into a blaze. What began as a conversation about new years goals and resolutions, excitedly became an "I want to change the way I live and the way our community thinks" discussion. After brainstorming on how to truly do that, I left with my heart burning to reach out and touch the heart of God, to live a life so pure and faultless that it pleases my Creator beyond my wildest imagination. So here I sit, challenged, encouraged and instructed to love. To love and look after the orphans and widows and to keep myself from being polluted by a self-serving world. Are you up for the challenge? Will you do it with me? Will you be the hands and feet of God in a time where He's not exactly welcomed? Will you be the love that's missing? Stay tuned for the ways I intend to do so (as I mentioned, I have yet to speak with my hubby haha and I plan to do that soon. Once I do, you'll hear back from me) - let love stir in your heart this year and let 2010 be the year we live it out!

I must continue...

Totally can't sleep tonight....so I thought I'd put this time to good use, possibly relieve my brain from the many thoughts circling round and round.

Life never stops - change is always creeping around the corner and my heart easily finds itself left behind as I try to keep up with the fast pace of adjustment. Often, time is wasted as I backtrack trying to find the pieces of myself that have been strung along tattered streets. Calloused from the travels, and lightly bruised from the unexpected stops along the way - I retreat to regain strength. Creativity tries to fan a spark but can't seem to find the air necessary to birth more than a weak flicker. Beauty hides somewhere deep within and has great difficulty revealing itself, yet I'm determined to find it. Dreams have been put aside for all things logical, drowning in a sea of "responsibility" like a bag of bricks tossed overboard before it had the chance to reach it's intended destination. Yet somehow, through all the lurking, running, fanning and sinking - my grip remains tighter than ever as my frail fingers clutch ever-so tightly to the one hand that's worth holding. His light will pierce my darkness, His peace will heal my wounds, His spirit will ignite my fire, His breath will fill my lungs and His death will sustain my fragile life - for after all, He is the reason I must continue.

Girl on a Mission...

I think I've figured out why I have such a difficult time updating - I have ADD! Seriously, I cannot sit still for the life of me these days. I had issues with this as a kid in school (which is why I went through every type of schooling available in our area: all girl's private school, co-ed private school, home school, back to private school, homeschool again, public school, early admissions, etc., etc.) I love to write and I love to journal, I love to share my life with people and I love looking back on all the things God's doing in my life, but when it comes to sitting down and blogging about it - I find myself wandering around facebook, checking out the latest cruise specials or clicking through the most recent tours posted on statravel.com (haha, my secrets are out). So here I am - making myself focus. :) We'll see how it goes...

I finally have a job - a temporary one, but a job none-the-less. :) I'm nannying for a family I've known for a few years now. They called me out of the blue, desperate for a part-time nanny and well, I was desperate for work - so it was a win/win situation! :) They have two darling little boys (2 & 5)...the two year old is smiley 24/7 and the five year old talks constantly, informing me of all the events in his life, his brother's life and the lives of everyone else around him. :) Most would find this tiring, I find it amusing. I love his excitement for life and his curiosity - it reminds me of myself as a kid.

I've been in such a constant state of transition over the past few years, it seems things are always changing - never stable. Part of me loves the freedom this brings - knowing that things will never be the way they are "forever", therefore, why not give everything and anything a try? Yet, at the same time it's a bit frustrating...I'm constantly asking God what He's doing with me, what His ultimate plan and purpose for my life is. I'm realizing I had a rose-tinted outlook on "life" during high school and the short years that quickly followed - now that I've had a taste of what it's really like, I'm honestly a bit baffled. I know I have an intense love for my God and I deeply desire to use my gifts to serve Him for the rest of my life - yet, I'm finding my heart a bit numb to all things "spiritual." I say "spiritual" because the life I've lived up until now has been "spiritual" with a chunk of a Christ-centered relationship strewn about here and there. I've grown up in a Christian home, a Christian school (most of my life), a Christian church with Christian friends and extended family....I'm about as Christian as anyone gets - and yes, I realized in high school that Christianity was so much more than living out the life I had always lived, it was nurturing a personal relationship with my Creator, but now that I'm of age to make my own decisions and personally determine what the rest of my life will look like from here on out, I'm finding the life I previously lived to be boring, monotonous, binding and well - old. I'm most definitely in love with my Jesus, but the more time I spend with him these days, and the crazier the world around me becomes, the more I realize I am so far from living the life us Christians were charged to carry out. None of the fearless leaders in the Bible were bored - I can guarantee they weren't feeling bound, they were invigorated by the crazy, heart-pumping, adrenaline raising tasks God constantly put before them whether it be leading a silent army around walls of Jerico and blowing trumpets at certain times, building a massive boat secure enough to withstand winds, rain, waves and floods that were intended to wipe out the rest of the world, leading a generation of complaining Israelites through the wilderness for years and years and years without a "master plan", or housing spies God was using to demolish your city with the hope that your life may be spared....all of these Biblical characters lived a life on the edge. I'm sure they all had periods of down time, but for the most part their lives were hanging on every word God breathed into their hearts and they were able to push away the clutter in order to hear what He had to say. I crave that...I yearn for that and I'm desperately searching for a way to live that out within whatever career path I decide to take from her on. I'm so tired of going through the motions of "Christianity" without the passion, excitement, adrenaline and peace He has to offer. I'm not sure how things will begin to look different, but I'm on a mission to find the life that is most honoring, most glorifying and most powerful in the eyes of my Lord. =) I'm excited about the journey!

In the mean time, I'm off to the gym. (I'm pretty proud of myself for completing this update. It took me two days to write because...you guessed it, I got distracted. But none-the-less it's finished!) I hope everyone's doing well!

Lots of love blessings, excitement and adventure!!

d