Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Current Events

So I spent the day with an old friend yesterday, it was so neat to finally see her again. She was actually my roommate from Ft. Lauderdale and it's so funny that we live only a few streets away from each other now and haven't been able to spend time together until now.

We had lunch at a cute little cafe in downtown Franklin and then drove into the city and got ice cream at this adorable little home made ice cream shop in Nashville and just walked around enjoying the day. It's always good to catch up with someone you've shared so many memories with. I love that!

Here are a few photos from our walk in the city:

I've still had no luck with the job search. :( I've been praying about it so much, I feel the Lord just saying sit still and wait. I've registered with a few nanny agencies and I've put my resume out there several times and I've told everyone I've come into contact with that I'm looking, so I'm just going to sit back and wait for a little while and see if something opens up. As hard as it is to watch the days go by and the bank account dwindle, I've got complete peace that if He wants me here for an extended period of time, He's going to provide for me. In the mean time, I've set up my own little shop called dh refined on (One of the most fabulous websites I've yet to come across, everything is handmade and it's so inspiring to search through the pages and pages of handmade goods. I could spend hours on that website, it's a scary thing!) and I'm selling a few things I've made. Check it out if you get a chance and pass the word along to your friends who may be interested. :)

Here are a few photos of the things I've made:

I'm so very excited to say that the boyfriend is coming to visit this weekend (tomorrow actually)!!! I haven't seen him in 3 weeks and ah it's been so tough. His visit will be short and sweet, but I don't care, I'll take all the time I can get with the boy! It's been a more difficult transition for us than I had imagined. I haven't shared much of our story, but for a little background - we started dating long distance. He told me the night before I moved away for school in Ft Lauderdale (August of 06), that he liked me and he couldn't let me leave without knowing it (it had to be one of the most confusing nights of my life!). Needless to say, we talked on the phone almost every day until April of 07 and then finally decided to put a title on our relationship. We've been dating ever since, and I didn't move back home until October of 07, so we thought we were prepared for the distance thing again when I made the decision to move to TN but it's been a lot harder than we both had expected. I'm not sure how much longer we can endure the distance, but while it's tough, it has been so good for us. God has truly shown me where my heart is and He's showing me more and more each day that I can't live without him. I'm not sure what that means for my time here in TN, but until God makes that more clear, I'm just soaking up the time I have to truly focus on writing and spending time at His feet. :)

Well, I better get going, but I hope you're all doing well! Let me know what you think of the etsy stuff if you get a chance to look at it! :)

Lots of love and many many blessings,


Sunday, February 15, 2009

Moving the Mountains...

Gosh, time slips by so fast. I've been in the Nashville area for a little over a month now, crazy, huh? My time here has been so relaxing, however, I need a little less relaxation and a little more work. I've been on the hunt for a job since I arrived and still - no luck. I had an interview last Wednesday with a little salon downtown and I'm supposed to find out tomorrow if I got the job or not - it's been the most promising thing I've had come my way yet. Keep me in your prayers if you think about it, I'd very much appreciate that! :)

I think I can finally say I'm settled. I still need furniture for my room but I feel at home in my little space, I love my roomies, I've met some neat people, and I'm finally starting to know my way around town without any GPS help! (I was so very proud of myself the day I made it home without cheating) Spring has begun to tempt us with a taste of her glorious arrival, she's just around the corner and I can't wait! I hear Tennessee is incredibly beautiful during the Spring! It's been a little warmer lately so I've found a great little park to run around and it's just down from my apartment, I love it!

This weekend was a hard one, with being away from my sweetheart on Valentines Day, no job, a dwindling savings account and lack of direction in my life - I found myself a little down. I had two long, hard conversations with the boyfriend and the other with the mother (dun dun dun...). The convo with the boyfriend will remain between the two of us - but lets just say that distance hasn't come as easily as it did before, when I was in south Florida for school. It's been far more difficult than I had imagined, it's definitely showing us where our hearts truly lie. And the conversation with the mother was, well - very mother/daughter-ish. It was typical mom advice on my current living situation, financial circumstances, relationship status and not-so-distant future, but it was nothing short of honest. I love that about my mom, she tells me how it is, but sometimes I just need a listening ear and a word or two of encouragement.

I initially moved to Tennessee because God somehow seemed to open all the right doors, but now that I'm here what does He have for me? That's been the major question weighing on my mind lately. I truly had very little to no expectations upon making the move, but now that everything has come to a screeching halt and I'm in a jobless standstill, I'm asking God "why?" A little background for those unaware : music is my passion. Leading worship gives me satisfaction like none other, the fact that God allows me to use something I'm so passionate about to help usher people into His powerful presence, simply blows my mind. Since before I could speak I was singing, He's been shaping and developing this love for sweet flowing melodies ever since; and now, I've got this great desire to use it to bring people closer to Him, leaving them at the feet of His cross and in utter awe of who He is. All that to say, my biggest dream is to travel the world leading worship, preferably at girl's conferences, speaking, singing, opening up and sharing all of my life with those around me. When I made the move to Tennessee (music central), I truly had no expectations musically, other than seizing the opportunity to be inspired by all the talented people and taking advantage of the time to write and pour myself into songs. I've been able to do that lately, but the more that I think about this dream of traveling the world, leading worship, the more defeated I feel. People around me look at it as an unattainable, unreachable, unrealistic dream...something so far from reality, that I might as well put it aside and focus on more practical things in front of me. Pursue more education perhaps? Seek after a secure career, one that will allow me to make ends meet and pursue the commonly sought after "American Dream" - marriage, house, kids, grandkids, etc? That's what will make them happy. But me? I'd be miserable. Missing the mark - neglecting a calling - putting aside a purpose, that's how I feel about walking away from my pursuit of sharing music. I've been thinking a lot about this over the past week or so and as I looked at the immovable mountains before me, I came across the lesson of the Withered Fig Tree. A story I've never thought much of until now. Let me share it with you:

(Matthew 21:18-22) "Now in the morning, as He returned to the city, He was hungry. And seeing a fig tree by the road, He came to it and found nothing on it but leaves, and said to it, 'Let no fruit grow on you ever again.' Immediately the fig tree withered away. And when the disciples say it, they marveled, saying, 'How did the fig tree wither away so soon?' So Jesus answered and said to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but also if you say to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' it will be done. 'And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.'"

So many things in this short passage moved me. First of all, of all the things in the world to display His glory, He uses a barren fig tree. Secondly - He rebukes the tree for being worthless and it listens! Immediately it withers - even the barren trees of this earth respond to His command. How much more shall I, a woman formed in His image, designed for relationship and communion with Him, respect His word and His command? How much more then shall I be used to display His glory? Next, the words He shares with the disciples - He gives us a challenge, "if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but also if you say to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' it will be done."!!!! He encourages me - a weak cluster of bones, flesh and asthma ridden lungs to challenge the mountains to move. And then (my favorite part of this whole story) He backs it up by a promise, "And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, YOU WILL RECEIVE." All I have to do is ask, believe and be the recipient of His wondrous works, promises and blessings.

With respect to all the wonderful people God's placed in my world around me, I cannot be tied down to your unbelief. I know I was created for more than the "American dream", making babies and ensuring that the world goes round - I was created to be a beautiful display of His Glory! All it takes is a little faith and I'll be moving mountains. I hope you grasp hold of that truth just as I have this week. Be reminded that you have been created with great purpose, to be a public display of His Glory. Whatever that dream, that promise that you know without a doubt He has handcrafted and so perfectly placed in your heart is - be strong, rooted in faith. Command those mountains to move and watch them crumble before you as you shine brightly, revealing His strength and fulfilling His purpose!