Dreary Days & PJ's

Well, two days until my dear Brenton returns. This has, for some reason, been what feels like one of the longest weeks of my entire life. I thought surely it would pass quickly and he would be gone and back before I knew it; but man it feels as if I've been awaiting his return for an eternity.

This eternal week, however, has been a thought provoking and heart changing week. Yesterday was amazing. I opened my sleepy eyes to a dark and dreary morning. Buried under my warm, fluffy comforter and nestled into my pillows, the pitter patter of rain hitting my window seemed to lull my sleepy thoughts. For once my heart finally felt as if it rested in a bed of peace. Consumed by beautiful thoughts of my sweet Jesus, I found security once again. Somewhere between the shores of Gulf Breeze and Ft Lauderdale, all peace and security had been strung along the highways, beaches and marshlands. And yet, here I lay (finally) with all restlessness at ease and fear subsided, confusion silenced and strength restored. Not moving a muscle, I stayed buried under my sheets, my body like lead at the bottom of a deep ocean, just basking in this easy feeling--soaking it in for as long as I possibly could. Some time later, my tummy snarled at me, breaking my reverie and informing me that it had been neglected. I stepped out onto the cold wood floor and made my way to the kitchen. I looked out the window, gazing at the foggy haze hovering over the sea and at that moment decided, today was going to be a day of rest; a day of shutting out the world and all it's annoying tendencies and allowing my thoughts to escape and my heart to be silenced. I put a pot of coffee on and engaged in breakfast with my family. After visiting with family, I made my way to back to my cozy room, coffee in hand (mmm, something about the smell of fresh coffee on a cold, wet morning is just so comforting) and journal out, I began to write. Filling page after page with more thoughts and emotions than I knew I could humanly contain--what a release. As I wrote, a friend's name continuously came to mind. Exchanging my pen for my phone, I said, "Okay Lord. What's up with this? I haven't talked to this girl in, what seems like, forever and now all of the sudden I feel compelled to call her? Should you have something in this conversation for me, please let her pick up (for she lives in Hawaii and the time difference always seems to be a problem. Not to mention she's also a traveling missionary AND a newlywed, how the heck was I supposed to get in touch with such a busy girl?)." I dialed her number, one ring later I hear a voice on the other end..."Jenna?!" I stuttered, somewhat shocked she had picked up and so quickly at that. What I had intended to be possibly a 15 minute conversation, ended up being over an hour long conversation catching each other up on our lives and what I can't help but believe was divine encouragement. I LOVE those moments. You know...the ones where God seems to gently and lovingly meet your heart just where it is, whether it be through a friend or a family member or situation of some sort, He never fails. I am not deserving. Anywho, an hour and then some later, I hung up the phone with my heart completely calmed and my thoughts settled--I may not know where I'm going, but I do know that wherever this life is headed, He is in complete control. And there is where my heart finds rest.