Change sweet change...

It's 1:42 am and I'm absolutely insane for even attempting to explain all the recent events at this hour, considering I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. But as tired as my body is, my mind won't let me sleep - I might as well make good use of this sleepless night.

If you've been following my blog, you've probably guessed by now that I've been a little desperate for change. It's amazing how restless my heart had grown, if only I had known change was just around the corner. Let me back up a bit - About two weeks ago on a Sunday evening I laid it all before Him. I gave Him my hopes and my dreams, my frustrations with where my life is currently headed and confessed every nasty thought and/or action that had followed as a result of all my frustration - brutally honest to a God I was convinced was listening to everyone BUT me. I made a deal with Him (you know - throwing out the fleece, testing to see if He's really there. Of course I know He is, it's those human limitations that blind me from time to time. I need to be reminded every once in a while.) - if He opened a door, I would follow no matter how crazy it looked as long as I had peace and plenty of confirmation it was of Him. Exhausted after all my venting, I put aside my journal, hit the lights and fell asleep just as I would have any other night.

Monday morning arrived faster than I would have liked it to. My day began to unfold just as any Monday does, but this time it was filled with several thought provoking conversations. The first was with my cousin Jenny, who's currently living in the DC area. "How are you REALLY doing," she asked. "I'm restless if you REALLY want to know." And thus it began - a couple minutes into the conversation she boldly stated, "I think you should move to Nashville, TN. Go and pursue your music. Give your relationship some space to figure things out." Absurd - I'm not just picking everything up and moving to TN for no reason. I went on with my day. That afternoon I spoke with my old roommate who's currently living in Franklin, TN (just south of Nashville). We joked and laughed about old times and then agreed we needed to plan a trip to see each other and catch up. The memories made me miss her, hearing of her latest adventures made me slightly jealous (in a good way of course) - "Lord, I want adventure too," I reminded Him. That evening just before a practice, I sat down at my computer to check my email and what not and received a message from my friend Cait (who's currently living in Franklin, TN). "Come and visit," she said. "Better yet, move in with me! My roommate left and I need someone to fill the room by January. Think about it, pray about it, get back to me." Stunned I sat in silence. "Lord, is that You? Are you really speaking to me? Surely you're not answering my desperate request this quickly," I thought. Putting the offer aside, I went on with my night. By the time practice was over, all I could think about was that empty room in Franklin, TN calling my name. I went home and threw the idea out to my family and much to my surprise, they were very encouraging! (Definitely NOT the response I was expecting.) We agreed to pray about it for a few days and see how we felt. The last big hurdle was the boyfriend. I ran the whole thing by him and - shocker - he was encouraging as well!

A few days and lots of thought and prayer later I found myself sitting in the conference room with my two overseers, explaining that I'm moving to Franklin, TN! Crazy, I know! But I can't seem to deny that it's somehow got God's fingerprints all over it. Financially so many things have worked out that I never thought would work out, everyone I've told about it has been so very encouraging and supportive, and above all I have amazing peace about it. It's so amazing, I'm still shocked God answered my prayers immediately!

So here I am, just a few weeks from picking up my life and moving it to a totally different state. I'm certainly a little anxious, nervous, sad - but all that is mixed in with excitement and a sense of adventure! I'm going to miss my Brenton dearly, but through this I have already seen God change his heart and mold him more into the man I've been praying he becomes. God is so good. I'm going with no expectations, no job, no future (which, normally that would totally freak me out) but somehow in the midst of that I have incredible peace and faith that He will provide. So that's the big news for me at the moment. I should probably get a few hours of sleep now, but I'll be posting again to keep you updated.

All I can say is be honest with Him. Share your heart as David did - be a man/woman after His heart, passionate and determined - unstoppable for His Kingdom! :) Thanks so much for all the support and prayers! I am so incredibly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life!

Blessings,
d

Let me not forget....

Remind me of Your promises, Lord.
Seal them in my heart, so that I may not forget.

Spread before me, Your blessings Lord.
Lay them out, so that I may not forget.

Sing over me Your love.
Lavish me, so that I may not forget.

Bathe me with your presence.
Let me be surrounded, so that I may not forget.

You've promised me a future and filled it with blessings, showered me with love and enveloped me in Your presence....yet, somehow I still manage to forget about all You've done for me.

Remind me of Your promises....

I'm alive, really - I am....

I'm the least consistent blogger alive, I know - but I'm trying! :)

I hope this entry finds you well and anxious for the Thanksgiving holiday! I simply LOVE Thanksgiving. It's my favorite holiday of the year. Maybe it's because I can "officially" listen to all the Christmas music my ears can handle and watch Elf and Home Alone till my eyes can't handle the television's glow. I love waking up every Thanksgiving, Thursday morning and cozying up to the couch with a blanket and cup of coffee in hand as I watch the NYC Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. It's one of my favorite feelings in the world! I love spending all day with my mom, sister in the kitchen, preparing a marvelous meal for the family. I love the brisk air and the energy that Black Friday generates! I love picking out a fragrant Christmas Tree on Friday night with my sister and having the house all decked out in festive decor before the weekend's end. The list goes on! I could talk forever about how much I LOVE Thanksgiving! Needless to say, I'm pretty excited about this week!

So my dad introduced me to Pandora.com and I'm a self-proclaimed addict! You MUST check it out if you haven't already. You enter an artist you like and they create an entire playlist of similar artists. It's great cause it gives me music to listen to all day long!

Well, I better get going, but incase you don't hear from me this week, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

<3 d

I woke up today with a bit of a scratchy throat (always a BAD sign). It was gone by 8:00am, but the aches and sneezes were quick to follow. I hope this clears up soon - this is certainly not the week to be sick! This week's unforgiving schedule includes leading worship for tomorrow morning's Women's Bible Study, leading tomorrow evening's Christmas Band Practice, Wednesday evening's Youth Alive worship practice, Thursday evening's Sanctuary practice and Friday night's camp-out, Sara's baby shower and Kayla and Nolan's wedding - I need a clear (nasal free) voice!!

As I mentioned in my last blog, I went gym shopping on Friday, and I believe I've come to my final decision. You see, Thursday evening after work, I rushed to the gym I've been going to for years now (when I say years, I really mean it! Most members have id's that are in the 1000's, my id was 20.) and as I waved to the familiar face behind the counter, I said, "20," and began making my way to the locker room. "Uhhh, wait a minute," said the man, "you're not a member here." WHAT?! It thought - not a member, surely he's mistaken. "I see you here all the time Danya, but it looks like your membership was terminated on the 22nd of October and your last day of membership was on the 30th." I knew my parents have been talking about letting go of their beloved gym membership to save a little money, but I didn't think they'd actually do it, they love our gym! The man was kind enough to let me go to one last spin class and told me to call the manager the following day to see if I could set up a new account in my name. I called the manager the next day and she couldn't do anything for me - no discounts, no breaks given the longevity of my family's support of their business, no mercy whatsoever. So all that to say - this weekend I found a gym that's giving me a student discount, offers a spin class, and is 5 minutes away from my house. :) I'm excited to give the new one a whirl.

Aside from a stuffy head and a cancelled gym membership - I painted my toes a pretty red tonight, and for some reason everything seems better. Red just makes me happy! :)

That's enough rambling for tonight....I'll share a verse that's been close to my heart before I go. I'm going to insert my name in here where it's talking to Israel, it makes it so personal.

"Sing, O daughter!
Shout, Danya!
Be glad and rejoice with all your heart, O daughter.
The Lord has taken away your judgements.
He has cast out your enemy.
The King of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst;
You shall see disaster no more.
In that day it shall be said to you:
'Do not fear;
Danya, let not your hands be weak.
The Lord your God in your midst.
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness.
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.'"

Zephaniah 3:14-17

I love that He rejoices over me with gladness and He quiets me with His love. I'm filled with peace when I imagine Him singing over me! What a great God!?

Have a lovely evening!
Much love,
d

Along for the ride...

What a weekend!

From gym searching and outlet shopping to garage saling and photo taking - the past few days have been a whirlwind!

I spent the afternoon with my sister today (haven't done that in ages!) and while we shared lots of laughs and memories, by the end of the day I realized things aren't the way I've been pretending they are. Things with our world, with our country, with our economy - teetering on the edge of a cliff just waiting for one small gust of wind to blow the whole thing over. How'd it get this way? How did we get so far from being "the land of the free"? Bound by debt, bound by the fear of being "politically correct," and by dependency on our enemies - we're just moments away from self-destruction. The whole President Obama thing has left me in shock, I don't think I'll realize the magnitude of this election until we really start to see his promised "change." To be totally honest, I am slightly fearful of what the next few years hold. Not only as an American that hates to see the foundation of her country crumble to pieces, but as a Lover of Christ, I am fearful that my freedom to worship my Creator will be altered. This is the thought that has been haunting me all week.

With all of that said, this week I've been doing some "soul searching," if you will. I've been thinking really hard about where I'm currently at in life, where I'm headed with my job and my relationship, where my hopes and dreams fit in, etc. and each time I find myself coming back around in full circle - (with hands lifted in the air) I honestly just don't know. I feel like I should know by now what I want to do with the next decade of my life, but I haven't a clue! The more I think about it, the more anxious I get - the more I wish for anybody else's life but my own. <--- That, my friend, is the marvelous trap of the Enemy! I've been his little pawn, sitting like a stone - paralyzed by the great, unknown future that lies ahead of me, meanwhile making NO headway what-so-ever towards where Christ would have me be. And here's the truth behind it all - God's gently (yet somehow, firmly) saying, "Danya, hands off!" As usual, I shake my head back and forth nervously saying no while tightening my grip - but this time is different. As I tighten my grip, I feel a pit in my stomach - almost as if instinct is telling me that this is my last chance to obey, after this I'm on my own. "On my own?!" I can't do that! "But let go?!" that doesn't sound appealing either! Once I let go, I lose control of everything I've worked so hard to hold and I just know it'll all go spinning out of control, right? Gosh, I have it all so wrong sometimes. That should be my last fear, in fact, letting go should be a resort of hope. Obedience should bring relief - should something go wrong, I can rest in the fact that my "something gone wrong" will always result in His "something so much better." So here I am, hands pried open, heart unsure - letting you know I'm done for a while (wish I could say forever, but nature probably won't allow), I'm giving You control and I'm trusting You know my heart best. I'm finally here, along for the ride!

Beautiful Day

The past few weeks have been a roller coaster - both emotionally and physically. It's been one event after another.

Last weekend, my dear cousin Ryan married his beautiful bride, Bree. I could not have hand picked a better girl for him...God knew what He was doing! :)



Thursday evening we celebrated the big 21 with Austin around a fire, with glow sticks and a bowl of chili in hand...



On Friday, Active and Focused Youth hosted an event called Light The Night - a 70's themed Halloween alternative. It seemed to be a success. I was busy manning the food tables so I didn't get pics of the evening, but it was busy busy - brand new skate ramps, basketball and volleyball tournament, worship by the 722 Band, and an open mic session.

Saturday was our annual Harvest Fest at the Gulf Breeze Rec Center...the event was a hit! I wish I had more photos of this one too - it was an event filed afternoon complete with all the cotton candy and blow up toys a kid could ever wish for, tennis and basketball tournaments, a rock wall, and live music from both CCGB worship teams and from Kelley Keenan and a little band Brenton put together.



After all that - they gave us today (Monday) off! Words cannot describe how badly I needed the rest! It was such a luxury! I slept till 8:30am, had biscuits for breakfast, had a nice (uninterrupted) devo time, took care of bills in bed, went on a jog and then headed to Brenton's on the beach. I was greeted with a brown paper bag with my name written across the top...he made me lunch! It was the sweetest thing....we had a picnic on the beach and watched the sunset. It couldn't have been a more peaceful day. The weather was perfect, the beach was calm and beautiful, and the lunch was delicious! To top it off, he bought one of my favorite fall treats - (I know it sound gross, but trust me on this one) hot apple cider and chocolate doughnuts, and we watched Home Alone (I'm kind of a Fall/Christmas freak).....it was a perfect day!

Take it all away...

So many days I get caught up in pointless activities.
My mornings pass without one word to my Maker, my afternoons filled with busy work, my evenings are spent recovering from the busy day, my head hits my pillow with stress of the day clouding every thought....my heart neglected, my God put aside.

This evening I found myself listening to a dear friend's song and as I did, I felt a sweet, gentle spirit whisper over me - I miss you. The words left my heart a shattered mess.

It's been a constant struggle to find contentment where I am, some days are a success and others are far from successful. I so often find myself dreaming up places I'd much rather be, adventures I'd much rather be pursuing, yet returning from my thoughts to a mundane existence. Routines don't fit me, they never have and they never will. I crave a life rich in my Jesus and rich in adventure and exploration. I want to touch the ground my Jesus walked, I want to meet the people my God created, I want to experience other cultures crafted by my Maker's hands. I want to be active in it all, rich and well alive - seeing, hearing, tasting, feeling it all. Monotony numbs me, and that's just where I've found myself - numb. Numbly moving through the movements of my every day life. How do I escape it? It seems to work so well for everyone else around me and when I speak of the things my heart burns for, they simply don't understand. I wish they could see! It's the way I was created...created for movement and exploration, color and taste. In the numbness my spirit has been squelched, and I've forgotten how sweet intimacy with my Creator can be. I've forgotten that He delights in me. I've forgotten that He craves to know me, just as I crave to be elsewhere. I'm so sorry Lord - I want to feel again. I want to be rich in You, rich in life! Take it all away, all that's in the way of you....

"I was so lost and confused
I was so far away from the truth
For the purpose in me
I was made to love You
But I ran my whole life
To the things that can't satisfy
You opened my eyes
Tore open the night
And you gave me a brand new page
I never want to go back never want to lose track
I just want to see your face

So take it all away
All that's in the way of you
I just want you I just want you
Jesus you're more than I need
You fill me with life and now I see"

Words by Zeb Abalos