My Chains, His Stains...Only by grace

Courtney's Makings

2011-09-08T08:41:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends,
I know I've pretty much abandoned this blog, giving all of my blogging time and energy to The Pink Peony lately. I wanted to let you know that my friend Courtney from Nashville has given me a stinkin cute owl pendant to feature on www.PinkPeonyStyle.com. If you love it as much as I do, check back daily for additional entries. :) Hope all is well. Lots of love....d

Happy Weekend!

2011-07-09T10:13:00.000-07:00

Here's a little of what we've been up to lately....

Mission Week was a few weeks ago with our high school youth group - we did local missions projects for a few days, then headed to St. Pete for a youth conference and a day at Busch Gardens.

{Painting at The Blake}

{Team 1 ready to venture to our next mission project}

{B & kids on the tram to Busch Gardens}

I'm a gluten free girl now, so I've been trying my hand at gluten free cooking - here are a few new recipes I've come up with....the recipe for the Roasted Eggplant Caprese Salad can be found here.

{Roasted Eggplant Caprese Salad}

{Parmesan Shrimp over Pesto Quinoa Noodles}

More recently, it's Blue Angel weekend here on P'cola Beach, so yesterday we joined a few friends on their boat for an afternoon of food, sun & the blue angel show! We love our blues here in FL...

And after all the fun and sun...Blakely and I are enjoying some r&r today. He's the best little buddy....

Hope you're having a great weekend!

How Great is Our God

2011-06-12T16:30:00.000-07:00

So much has happened since my last post - I wrote a little about it here, if you'd like to read. I always vow to be a more consistent blogger, but the only thing that seems to remain consistent is my inconsistency. Oh well...there's only time for so much.

Through all of my recent adventures and experiences, I've come to realize some really cool things & I thought I'd take a moment on this overcast, Sunday afternoon to share. Grab your favorite iced drink, or maybe crank the ac and put on your sweats (as I like to do...shhhh, that'll be our little secret - till the next power bill arrives atleast) and read on...

Over the past 2 weeks or so, I've found myself being a listening ear to many friends and acquaintances around me. Not one word shared has gone unfelt, unheard, uncared or unprayed-for. (I'll come back to this in a minute.) My husband shared a video of Louie Giglio from the "How Great is Our God" tour (click the link to watch, I highly recommend it. It puts life into perspective.) in the high school youth group last week and it struck a heart string. For those who don't have time to watch, Louie shares pictures of our solar system and beyond to give us an idea of how vast God's creation really is and how small we are in the grand picture. This has been something God's been repeatedly showing me since my last post.

When taking off from our small little airport a few weeks ago, I looked down and saw my "city" below - becoming smaller and smaller with each second that passed, till it was but a blurry spot below the clouds. "That's my world," I thought. "All of my problems, my fears, my possessions, my loved ones, my memories - most of them belong right there and (morbid, but true) it could all be wiped away in an instant and the world would go on." With that thought came, "but somehow in the smallness of my world, God cares." He cares. He cares so much that He called me by name and invited me into personal relationship with Him. The only thing my mind can possibly relate this to is ants in an ant farm - it's as if I had an ant farm on my kitchen counter and I somehow knew each ant personally. Imagine if I named them and then invited them to get to know me. Sure they're busy little creatures, running frantically to find their next grain to offer to their queen, they're distracted, but they've been invited and with that invitation comes my love, affection, care, protection and concern. That sounds ridiculous, I know, but it's the only image I can put to God calling me out of this world and offering me life & love. I so quickly get caught up in my little world and I (meaning to or not) make it all about me. It's amazing and awesome that He cares. In the midst of say, caring for and tending to the universe, He takes time to listen to and care for me (and you if you let Him).

Bringing it back to the burdens I've carried for my friends who are hurting. I think of the bridge in the song "Hosanna":

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

That song has become an ernest prayer of mine, and I'm seeing it happen before my very eyes. He's breaking my heart for the things my friends and family (& the world) around me are experiencing and I believe this is a very small taste of the burden He feels for our pain and our heartache. He cares. I don't know who's reading this and/or what you're going through, but as my heart breaks for the people around me these days, know that He cares whether you know Him personally or not. Contrary to what the media would like you to believe, there's a God who created YOU and He cares for His creation.

Lots of love and prayers being sent to people around me these days...

Superwoman Fail

2011-05-04T22:22:00.000-07:00

WARNING : This post just may make you look at me differently - it's raw & maybe a little too honest. If you haven't noticed already, I totally don't have it together. Read on if you need to see the proof...

After several minutes of rambling and impatient shaking of the head, "You didn't hear a word I just said. Ma'am you need to make a decision, I have a dog waiting in the tub and don't have time to wait for you. I'm either shaving him or you need to take him home and comb your high maintenance dog yourself." That was the tail end of a long & unnecessary conversation I had at 7:45 this morning with a new groomer in town (I'll save his reputation and just hope that his impatience with a potential paying customer was due to the stress of opening a new business). Needless to say, this conversation seemed to have set the tone (and pace) for my never-ending day.

You know the days that seem as if you're trapped in a snow globe and some kid hyped up on pixie stix and fruit-by-the-foot is violently shaking you so that the dust never has a chance to settle? For some weird reason, in the midst of these types of days, I feel like superwoman - just hand me my cape and I'll add flying to my list of things to do. (Does superwoman fly? She really should, if she doesn't.) But it's when the sun sets and the dust finally settles that I see helpless me (minus the cape), a wreck because I've burned the candle at both ends and have nothing left to offer at the end of the day. Just a really tired and haggard-looking me - major superwoman fail (in my opinion).

Tonight after my marathon ~~day~~ week (is today really Wednesday? where did last monday - this tuesday go?), I found myself sitting on the floor of my office with guitar in hand (a rarity these days) just sobbing words of nothingness. Who knows what I was ~~singing~~ croaking out through those tears, all I know is that when my fingers hit the fret board and my lips decided to move, my heart couldn't hold it back any longer - I verbally (and I suppose somewhat musically) vomited on Jesus. I haven't done that since pre-marital days - not in that fashion at least. Since being married, I've not allowed myself to unravel - I can't afford to fall apart. If I fall apart, the whole house comes crumbling with me. Instead, I sometimes talk to God (and myself) in the car on the way from point A to point B - venting in spurts; or sometimes (in a way I'm not so proud to admit) I have a freak-out-on-the-husband sort of moment. But usually I just find myself sprinting through my daily routine, taking massive breaths in and exhaling serious breaths out (cheeks flared and all). So not healthy.

Don't get me wrong - married life has been fabulous, but with it has come a whole new world of responsibilities and expectations (most of which I've put upon myself, B's a pretty easy-going {and helpful} guy). The biggest change, however, has been my relationship with the Lord. Daily devotions get pushed behind or squeezed in between workouts, meal planning, grocery shopping, project finishing, teaching, cooking, cleaning and who knows what else I manage to fit between waking and sleeping hours. Those quiet nights with my Bible opened and guitar and pen in hand have become distant memories and tonight reminded me how desperately I need/miss them. Married or single, divorced or widowed we all need those moments - whether the last one we had was this morning or last year, we need them to carry us from situation to situation, season to season. Without them we become a powerless and tired superwoman - doing everything in our power to tackle our to-do list, but finding our reflection to be a bit older and less beautiful than when we last saw it.

I suppose I sat down to write this so that I could have a moment of honesty. A moment of admitting that I can't do life without Him. And if you take anything away from this, yes, you may recognize that I'm tired and helpless (and a bit crazy) but more importantly, I don't want you to find yourself where I am - exhausted. Sure, I've had amazing moments - leading worship (and I've meant every word that I've sung), doing ministry alongside my husband, praying and seeking God throughout the past year and a half, but I've failed to do that in every situation. More honestly, I've failed to let Him have the things I simply cannot control. I've failed to have those moments of falling apart, only to have Him pick up the pieces. Friends, it's worth it. While I'm prying my white-knuckled fingers off the wheel, I'm handing it all to Him, even if it takes everything I've got. Tonight reminded me that I'm alive - it's okay to cry - and I so desperately need Him. No matter how ambitious I am, I'm no superwoman!

Crisp & Clean

2011-03-23T09:36:00.000-07:00

If you haven't checked out my new decor blog yet, here's a recent entry....follow & share if you like! :)

The Pink Peony

With spring in full bloom and summer on our heels, I'm loving bright, bold colors. And while I'm a total color-lover, a "color" that I absolutely LOVE to see this time of year is white! It's so clean and crisp, and is the perfect backdrop for all of those bright summer hues that are beginning to pop up.

White can be hard to do right. It sometimes feels too modern and not so homey, and if you have kids and/or pets, it can be difficult to keep clean. But whether it's white walls, white furniture or just white accents, it can make this time of year feel a little brighter. Here are a few of my favorite ways to incorporate white. Enjoy!

24

2011-03-22T15:48:00.000-07:00

Today I celebrate my 24th birthday - it's hard to believe how fast time flies!

This day always makes me look back on the years past, and reminds me that I have so much to be thankful for!

I thank God for the family He blessed me with, the husband who so sweetly loves & cares for me, the friends who support me and the mother that birthed me. ;)

Thank you to all who have been part of my past 24 years. I am so thankful for each and every one of you. I would not be who I am today without you.

Looking forward to the year ahead!

♥

New Blog!

2011-03-15T17:14:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends!

Just wanted to let you know that I finally launched my design/decor blog - it's a work in progress, but check it out, follow me and share it with a friend if you like! :)

The Pink Peony

Lots of love!

Fearfully & Wonderfully Made....

2011-02-27T16:57:00.000-08:00

Words cannot express the heart I have for young women to see their worth, their value, their exquisite beauty from the inside out. So many of my sweet sisters have fallen prey to the lies that have surrounded them since birth - they're not good enough, not thin enough, not pretty enough, not rich enough, not smart enough, the list is endless. I too, have believed these lies at times, but I have a God who constantly reminds me of my worth and value; and my God has blessed me with a family and a husband who remind me that I'm cherished. I realize that not every girl is given the support system I grew up with, so I feel the need to be that reminder, be that encourager. One of my favorite scriptures stands as a beautiful testimony to God's love for His master creation, YOU (and me of course), "For You created my inmost being, You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful..." (Psalm 139:13-14)

So sweet sister, be reminded today - YOU have been handcrafted by the Ultimate Creator. You were designed with a specific purpose and you've been given worth because He CHOSE to impart worth to YOU! So start living like it - you're a rarity, a jewel on earth. Something worth pursuit. Find freedom in your worth this week and start living like the girl you were meant to be!

Honesty and hard-to-live-out faith....

2011-02-07T08:59:00.000-08:00

So laugh if you must, but I have moments where something wells up inside of me and I feel the urge to give Martha Stewart, Giada, Brooke Fraser and Beth Moore a run for their money. Not that I'm implying that I'm as great (or better) as these women are at what they do, but I have moments were I'm crafting or cooking and think, "I need to capitalize on this and make a business out of it." (I can't even count the amount of businesses I've dreamt up - each one more amazing than the last. :) Or moments where I'm songwriting, leading worship or dreaming up new study ideas for our precious high school girls and I think, "How great would it be to do this for a living? Pour myself out over music and Bible studies 24/7, travel and encourage/inspire other girls/women to follow hard after Jesus, and not have to worry about how we'll pay this month's bills or when the next pay check will be deposited into our account." I don't know if I'll ever have the luxury of not stressing over finances (and maybe I'm naive to think that there are people who don't stress over money at all), but I'd like to think that God gave me gifts, talents, passions, desires and dreams that I should explore and pursue beyond my own kitchen or living room.

Money certainly isn't the focal point, but I have to say, life would be much more free if I didn't feel guilty for spending $6 for dog food or $4 for our preferred orange juice. I'm sure financial worries are a common stressor in homes these days, but as a believer, I have to wonder if God instilled things inside of me that would provide my bread and butter, if only I more persistently pursued them. He asks us to be faithful in the small things, and that's just what I feel the overwhelming urge to do - be faithful in the opportunities to open my home up to young girls needing love and encouragement, faithful to share my voice or musical abilities to charities or organizations who don't necessarily have a budget for such needs, faithful to cook away and offer a taste to someone in need, faithful to watch every dollar spent so that we have enough to give back to the One who gave it to us in the first place - faithful. It's easier said than done sometimes, but faith is where success begins. Faith is taking a leap over a deep, dark crevice and praying your way safely to the other side. But when you have the Creator of the universe holding your hand, that leap doesn't seem so dangerous - it looks more adventurous. So here's to the adventure that awaits. I'm laying down my fears of failure and fears of not having what we need, I'm ready to take my leap of faith and believe that my God can provide exceedingly, above and beyond my wildest dreams.

Dare to dream and dare to step out....want to do it with me??

Getting Organized...

2011-01-09T15:33:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but when I'm organized, I feel the air I breathe is fresher, sweeter & cleaner, my heart smiles and my steps have a bounce to them. So today, I sought after that happy feeling of being organized and attempted to clean out my office, organize my schedule for the week and plan out my grocery shopping. Sounds boring, I know, but I feel like a million bucks after the job's been done.

One thing I organized today was a coupon binder (Okay, who saw the recent TLC special on crazy couponing?? My husband and I were glued to it!) - I have a few friends who are coupon crazy and who do it well, freebies are part of their every day life; but I've actually tried it myself a few times in the past, and was disappointed to find processed foods and petroleum filled products to be the primary coupons available. Yet, after seeing the lifetime supply of toilet paper and paper towels one woman had collected through couponing, I decided to give it another shot. So today, I purchased two Sunday papers (a secret to their coupon success), created a few lists on various coupon websites and clipped away. I feel that if I'm saving on staples such as toothpaste, toilet paper, paper towels, and baking supplies, then it's all worth it - anything to shave the grocery bills these days. Maybe one day my coupon binder will look like this :

But until then, mine looks a little more like this...

Refresh, Reboot & Reinvent...

2011-01-05T08:22:00.000-08:00

It's a rainy day here in the sunshine state, and I LOVE it! My husband disagrees, but I could totally live in Seattle or somewhere gloomy and rainy - it's so cozy (when you're indoors at least). Don't get me wrong, sunshine is great - but we get a LOT of that around here, so the change of scenery is nice from time to time.

I know 2011 is probably the hot topic for most bloggers, facebookers, tweeters, myspacers (does that still exist?), etc. these days, but what's the start of a new year without a blog about it? There's something so refreshing and exhilarating about January 1st - it's an opportunity to reboot, refresh and reinvent. We've all over-indulged and probably over-spent during the holiday season and now we face 365 unblemished days to hit the gym, give our daily diets and weekly meal plans a healthy overhaul, and reconnect with our bank accounts and credit card statements. But for a girl who loves Jesus, this week is an all important opportunity for a spiritual makeover.

I don't know about you, but I feel the first week of the new year sets the tone for the 52 weeks ahead, and each day counts. I've done something different this year - instead of making my mile-long list of resolutions that never seem to materialize beyond January 31st, I've decided to create 12 simple (and achievable) goals, and have paired each goal up with a month in which I hope to see it conquered by. I won't bore you with my list of self, spiritual and financial improvement goals - but I will say that I strongly believe that week 1 could make or break my year of change. So goal #1 is to begin each day with Jesus - no matter how great or how small my window of time may be, I refuse to let another day slip away without connecting with the One who gives me life. And as a firm believer in the power of Christ, I'm excited to see how this small commitment of time and effort (& probably a greater commitment of discipline than I realize) will change my life over the next 360 days. I'm excited about the adventure these days hold and I'm excited to, one year from now, look back and see the growth and strength that came from my daily commitment. Like the rain that's cleaning my roof and watering my yard, I hope that my Jesus will be the water that washes over my heart daily and nourishes the seeds that have been planted in my life.

May 2011 be a year full of adventure, and growth for you as well! Here's to a fresh start!

Happy Holidays and Happy Birthday Jesus!

2010-12-27T10:20:00.001-08:00

Happy Week After Christmas!

I believe this is one of my favorite weeks of the year - my husband is home on vacation, family visits are still lingering, leftovers are still being reheated and the Christmas tree is still glowing; all is well as gifts are being enjoyed, meaningful conversations are taking place and quality time is being had with the people I love. It doesn't get much better than this!

I don't have too much to say this week, as I'm coming off my sugary-carb-loaded diet and relaxing after the madness of shopping, sickness, teaching and rehearsing....it's nice to have a quiet morning (I'll admit, it's 12:28 and I'm still in pj's. Don't worry, I'm on my way out for a run), but I will leave you with one thing I've been pondering - this truly is the most special time of year. Remembering the LIFE of Christ, his birthday, and the price He paid just for me (and you). It's the best gift of all - one I've really taken to heart this year. Listening to my family talk as they exchanged their gifts on Christmas morning - most gifts were given with a story attached. I overheard my dad explaining why he gave a certain gift to my mom and my sister explaining the gift she gave to B and I - it made me think that behind every gift is a story. Behind the ultimate gift, Jesus Christ, is the ultimate story - and sadly, so many people choose to refuse it. My belief was made strong this year as I tossed the guilt of throwing myself into the holiday spirit, but kept close the reminder that the tree that sits in my living room is a precious representation of that cross Jesus carried with all of MY sin, so that I may live freely. My name was written on that cross, along with many others, and my heart made clean the day I decided to believe. So this Christmas, my prayer is that you too would be in awe of the price paid, the life given, and the birthday celebrated - it's like none other! One worthy of all the praise, excitement and celebration throughout all the earth! Hope you're enjoying this week of rest as much as I am and hope you never forget the magnitude of this yearly celebration - the birth of our King.

Love and blessings!

It's a handmade Christmas for me!

2010-12-15T21:25:00.001-08:00

So I'm pretty sure that I love wrapping gifts much more than receiving them! I finally completed my Christmas shopping today - whew! I had never intended on being such a last minute shopper, but between traveling, working and being sick, who has time for anything else? Just one more project to complete and I can declare the job done! Until then, tonight's focus was wrapping! I went a little less traditional and totally handmade. I traded the ribbons for twine and construction paper and the bows for tissue paper. With Christmas music in the background, I crafted (if I may say so myself) the cutest little garland of multicolored dots for my solid colored gifts and found a new use for those famous Martha Stewart pom poms - a garnish for my fancy paper. I want to douse my house in the dotted garland - I just love it! I took a few pics to share, hope it inspires your wrapping...enjoy!

Happy wrapping!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Chocolate Therapy...

2010-12-13T19:36:00.001-08:00

(Are you drooling over this yet? Cause I am!!)

After SEVERAL days of "bed rest," some serious chocolate therapy was in order. So Sunday afternoon I packed up my goods and headed to my mom's house to do some Christmas baking. She has one of those marvelous Kithenaid Mixers (I'm SO jealous) - mixing, folding, whisking and whipping was a breeze. In honor of the latest food fad - cupcakes, I tried my hand at Chocolate Pepermint Baby Cakes (they were delish if I may say so myself!) and I also made cocoa dusted, sweet white and candy cane truffles. Here are a few pics of my creations:

Instead of finishing them off myself, B and I made up cute little Christmasey Chinese take out boxes of goodies and took them to our surrounding neighbors this evening and we invited them to Christmas at the Sanger. It was fun chatting with people we don't see often and it's always a joy sharing goodies I've made! :) That was my big adventure for the day - tomorrow it's back to teaching and rehearsals! Hope you're enjoying the Holidays as much as I am! Lots of love...d

My First Love....

2010-12-12T10:02:00.000-08:00

Happy Sunday!

I couldn't be more thrilled with the slight temperature drop - high 40's I believe, cool enough to justify cozying up on the couch with a warm cup of tea, journal and Bible. I have to admit, I stayed home from church this morning. I'm definitely on the upside of this virus and infection, but I'm afraid to toss myself into a sea of people. I simply cannot afford another week of illness, so I played it safe and brought church to my living room.

B and I have been going through a Max Lucado study through Revelation and this morning's segment was about returning to my first Love. It couldn't have been more timely. December is always a nostalgic month for me. I'm a creature of great comfort - I love tradition, I love all things cozy and I love to soak in the season of happiness and giving. This year has been a little different - it's my second married Christmas, so I'm still establishing my own traditions amongst B and I. We've put up a tree and we've discussed our Christmas budget and gone over our lists for family and friends. We've shared childhood memories of Christmas' past (well, I have atleast - ha!) and have begun to imagine what Christmas' future will one day look like (I'm a total dreamer). I'm also looking back on our first full year together. It was a wonderful year - certainly had it's ups and downs and was a total adjustment; it was filled with so many firsts as B and I have begun to figure out just what life looks like together. But this morning, as I read about the church of Ephesus in the book of Revelation, I saw so many simiarities in my own life. Rev 2:2-4 reads, "I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; and you have persevered and have patience and have labored for My name's sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love." What a statement! These people were doing everything right - they were dedicated, they were honest, good people, but God was jealous for them - their hearts had been lost somewhere along the way.

Sadly, I feel that has happened in my own life this year. My life has been more full of love than ever before - but it's been gushed out all over my husband and not my Jesus. I've been dedicated, attending church, serving in the youth group and leading worship on a regular basis. I've attended events and even helped run them. I've done my devotions and I've journaled and even prayed regularly, but somewhere throughout all of the motions, my first Love was left behind. It's a tricky thing - learning to balance love for a person who you've committed your life to loving, and eternal love for the King, my personal Creator and Savior. I now understand what Paul meant when he said it is better to be single than it is to be married, but if you must marry, then do so - for it is not sin. (1 Cor 7) Prior to marriage, loving Jesus was my priority and it came easily. But these days, I find it hard to balance my love for Christ and my love for my husband. With that said, I believe we are all prone to fighting this battle, single or married. We get caught up in our responsibilities as a wife, as an employee, as a mother, as a friend, as a volunteer within the church, or wherever it is that you spend your time and energy. While all of those things are good - examine your heart. Have you left your first Love? I recognize moments that I have, and I now see that God is jealous for me (as He is you). He longs for my heart more than anything I have to offer and so often I hold it back. This is my personal challenge this year as I say goodbye to 2010 and hello to 2011 - I want ALL of my heart to be His. He deserves it. Don't let the busy season take away from your worship to Him. It happens quickly and before we know it, we've left our first Love. Be encouraged today, He is after your heart, He is jealous for YOU!

1 Yr, Bucket List and Women Who Challenge Me....

2010-12-09T14:39:00.000-08:00

So, I'm truly the lamest blogger EVER. My last post was what? July or something like that? Oh well - no more vows to be a better blogger, I'll just take advantage of my "bed rest" (sinus infection + virus = bed rest for the next few days) and update those who read, on my little life.

It's been a busy busy season. Brenton and I just recently celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary! I can't believe it's been a year - where has the time gone? It's been one of the best years of my life this far, one I'll cherish forever. Brenton took me on a weekend get-away to a lovely condo in Destin. We celebrated at a cute little French restaurant called Bisou at the Wharf. For memory's sake:

I recently checked off two BIG dreams from my bucket list this year - NYC and the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade WITH my HUSBAND! I've been dreaming of this since I was a kid. Traditionally, my sister and I put on a pot of coffee, light the fire and snuggle up on the couch as we watch the parade and then later prepare Thanksgiving dinner together. Sadly my sister was not able to accompany me to NYC, but I got to live out the dream alongside my hubby.

It was a fabulous trip. The parade was just bigger than life. And don't get me started on NYC. It was a bit overwhelming to be in such a big city. We went during the busiest time of year, which was why it probably felt so overwhelming, but I have to say it's a city that truly never sleeps, is rich with our nation's history and not lacking in anything creative, expensive or magnificent. Another bucket list thing was seeing Phantom of the Opera on Broadway - utterly amazing. Words won't do it justice....if you've never seen a true broadway show, DO IT. You won't be disappointed! Here are a few of my favorite shots of our trip:

I feel this is getting lengthy, but I can't neglect to share one of the most amazing events I had the honor of attending. My wonderful mother took me to the Birmingham, AL Deeper Still Conference featuring Kay Arthur, Priscilla Shirer and Beth Moore. I can't even begin to describe how amazing and inspiring these women were. With 14,000 women in attendance and Travis Cottrell (sp?) and praise team leading worship - it was a refreshing weekend, one I desperately needed.

Kay Arthur taught through the entire book of Matthew in 1.5 hrs - incredible. The woman makes me want to lock myself in my house and do nothing but sit with a cup of warm tea and my Bible 24/7. What a wise and anointed gal she is.

And Priscilla, this was my first time hearing of her, but she was no fluffy teacher - she gave it to you straight. She spoke of emptying your quiver completely and walking in faith, trusting that God will take charge. My favorite quote from her was, "Use what you have at your disposal, it will be enough for God to use."

Last but not least, Beth Moore - the woman is on fire. She spoke of learning to recognize the treasure in our lives. If you ever have the opportunity to hear one of these women speak, I highly encourage it. God refreshed my heart and brought me back to life. Sometimes I feel as if I've lost my spiritual pulse, but it's moments like these that He reminds us that He is alive and LIVING INSIDE of us. What an amazing King He is. It's my life goal to be like one of these amazing women - living their lives to the fullest for His glory.

May you remember the true reason for this season and be blessed by all He has given you. Until the next time I have a stolen moment to update, Merry Christmas and Happy 2011!

And we made it....

2010-07-19T10:14:00.000-07:00

Woohooo! Back from Mexico! What a trip! Several hours of travel, 3 15 passenger vans, 42 people, many many tacos, 45 second showers, bug filled living quarters, contaminated water, 2 days of work projects, several orphanage visits, and many wonderful devotions later - we arrive home, back to the comfort of our consumer-based mentalities and our cushy lives as US citizens.

You know, it wasn't anything specific on the trip that gripped my heart, but it was a message by Francis Chan that I had listened to on the flight to San Diego that utterly and completely wrecked me. And it remained in that humble state all through the trip. God knew just what I needed. His Holiness was the core of the message, and for the first time I realized just how tiny and insignificant I truly am and how big and mighty He really is (I don't know if I'll ever fully grasp His Holiness till I'm standing before Him, but I've come to respect it more than ever before). If you're looking to be awakened to who He is, I would HIGHLY recommend you download and listen to Francis Chan's (Cornerstone Church) free iTunes podcast titled "The Holiness of God". It's bound to stir you.

Back to the trip - after several long hours of travel, we began our drive from San Diego to Ensenada, Mexico - that drive is incredible. The mountains, the cliffs, the beautiful turquoise coastline that greets the rocky land, the fresh air - it's just dripping of His beauty and Majesty. We spent most of our time at the Calvary Bible College just outside of the city, helping them with various work projects and then venturing out to orphanages, women's shelters and Horizante (the Calvary Chapel of Ensenada). It would take an hour or so for me to fully explain the highs and lows of the trip and it would be one lengthy post, so I'll spare you all of the details but to sum it up - we are certainly a spoiled nation. Poverty runs rampant (their average hourly wage is $2/hr), and resources are limited but the land is beautiful and the people's spirits are high as their way of life is much less complicated. Disconnected from the cellphones, the internet and all of the time and self consuming things we're so tied to, they are connected with each other - looking out for and caring for their families and the people around them. I long for the simplicity of their lives. Seeing their poverty made me appreciate what we, as Americans, do have - we take for granted clean and uncontaminated water, inexpensive electricity, buildings and homes that are built to code with perfection - keeping the bugs out, money that buys us small pleasures, plumbing that allows us to flush toilet paper and after every use. These are things I've easily overlooked and come to expect throughout life. The Mexican people are poor, but I believe God has His mighty hand upon them - blessing them with simplicity and true joy. I hope to never forget the things that touched my heart and opened my eyes to the life I'm living and the life I'm striving to live.

Thank you so much for your prayers and thanks to those who supported us financially. It was a trip that changed lives of both our youth and the people of Ensenada.

Be Blessed Today!

Here's a taste:

Crossing the border

B & I overlooking the city of Ensenada from a mountain top...I just love the huge flag that waves behind us!

Lupita (our chef), Alex (a dear friend of ours who has moved to Ensenada) and B.

The Crew! :)

At Horizonte (the church) Isn't it beautiful??

Some of the kids at the Women's Shelter .... aren't they precious?

P.S. I found my calling - Balloon Animal Making! I'm a pro!

2010-07-07T07:24:00.000-07:00

Good Morning!

It's finally a beautiful sunshiny day here in NW Florida! We've had days (possibly even weeks) of rain! While I absolutely LOVE rain - the sound, the smell, the sight, the coziness it creates within my house, the cooler weather it brings to our hot summer nights - I've begun to feel a little stir crazy. Blakely doesn't like venturing out into the rain to go potty, so that's resulted in many more accidents inside and he hasn't had much play time outside, so that's resulted in more chewing on furniture and more bottled up energy. But today is a new day full of sunshine and blue skies!

We've been busy busy here at the Collyer household. B and I leave in two days to take a group of 30+ high school students to Ensenada, Mexico for our yearly missions trip. While I'm so very excited to go - I still have lots to do in preparation. I haven't been to Ensenada since I was in high school, so I can't wait to see the progress that has been made at the church there.

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday weekend - our was fantastic! We spent time with my family at the beach, grilling and watching fireworks! And while I'm excited about our upcoming trip, I'm bummed we'll be missing the magnificent Blue Angels weekend (it's always the weekend after the 4th)! B and I woke up to the Blues flying over our house this morning - they're rehearsing for the big show! We'll have to go out Thurs morning to see the rehearsals since we'll be missing the real thing.

Well, that's all I have time for today. I hope all is well with you and I look forward to sharing all the stories from our trip to Mexico. Prayers are appreciated - B has never been before, and this is the largest group of kids he's ever been responsible for this far away from home.

Lots of love and blessings,

Busy Weekend...

2010-06-14T07:37:00.000-07:00

What a hectic weekend! Saturday morning we kicked off the weekend with a 20 mile bike ride around Gulf Breeze with the Focused Youth kids for their Bike-A-Thon fundraiser to support our upcoming missions trip to Mexico. It was definitely a hot morning, but the kids did great! We had minor issues with the bikes and didn't have any wipe outs - I'd say it was a success! Here's a pic one of the parents took of the group before the ride.

Sunday was filled with church and youth events and then a goodbye party for our dear friend Graham. He's in the military and is moving this Thursday to Arizona. We'll definitely miss him around here. He's become a great friend of Brenton's. Unfortunately we had to leave the party early last night cause some stomach bug hit me out of the blue. :-\ But no worries, I have the sweetest boys in my life; Brenton and Blakely took great care of me as they spent the evening watching the Lakers vs. Celtics game and caring for me. Blakely sure is the cuddler around here. He snuggles up with us every time he gets the chance. He's fitting into our little family so well!

I'm happy to say the tummy bug has passed and I'm facing a new week. It's going to be a short week here at home - we're leaving Thursday morning for St. Petersburg with a bus full of youth students for a weekend youth conference. While we're looking forward to it, we're definitely going to miss our little Blakely! Sadly, we have to leave him behind. With that said, I better get on with my house cleaning and my afternoon appointments, lots to do in a short amount of time. Hope you're having a lovely Monday!

Love and Blessings to all,

♥ d

Meet Blakely

2010-06-11T10:04:00.000-07:00

After three years of wanting a cuddly yorkie puppy of my own - my dreams have come true! Brenton and I picked up our new puppy yesterday afternoon and boy is he full of personality! He's 2 months old, has ears far too big for his little body and hair that's outta control - just my kind of companion. ;) I'm pretty sure he thinks he's a grate dane or something, cause he carries himself in the way a big dog would - he's fearless. Anyways, I had to take a minute to introduce my Blakely.

Crafty Wednesday

2010-06-10T07:52:00.000-07:00

While I had planned to spend yesterday helping my parents paint their new house, I discovered they didn't need the help. So instead of painting, I spent the afternoon making a fun little wreath from the pages of a paperback book. I had found the idea in a blog and decided to give it a try - to my surprise, it was inexpensive, fun and fairly simple. :) Here's what the process looked like:

The whole project probably cost me $3 (I already had craft paint for the edges of the book, so that wasn't included), and it only took 2 hours or so (a great craft to do with a friend or while watching tv). You can find detailed instructions on how to make one for yourself here. :) Don't forget to show me your results - I love seeing what other people come up with!

I'm off to teach music lessons for the afternoon. Hope you're having a beautiful day!

♥

d

Summerfied! :)

2010-06-06T16:29:00.000-07:00

So, summer is totally upon is (if you're living in the south, that is). I know, I know - it's still officially spring, but here in hot, sunny Florida, the heat and humidity has settled in. To "celebrate" (or should I say, "entertain myself" as I'm stuck indoors on this humid Sunday afternoon), I've decided to Summerfy my blog and give it a little life. It's been neglected (as usual) and I, once again, am on a mission to keep it alive. We'll see how this attempt goes. ;)

In the mean time, married life is treating us well. Every season is new and exciting, as we're living it together for the first time! The only complaint I have is we never seem to have enough time together, but I suppose things could be worse. Lots has happened since I last updated, don't worry - I won't bore you with it, but I will share some highlights of our most recent vacay to Rosemary Beach (seriously the cutest beach destination EVER). B & I accompanied my family on a little week-long trip to Rosemary and spent the week riding bikes, playing games & basking under the Florida sun. My tan is glowing, my hair is golden and my heart is full as I had some much needed r&r, & enjoyed some good ol' family time. My sister (who is home for the summer! I'm so excited about this!) and I stumbled upon one of the cutest little boutique called Pish Posh Patchouli's. I'm in love. It's a hand-made soap and fragrance wonderland. They even have a cute little corner where you can mix your own perfume and/or bath products - I couldn't resist. I made up a bottle of almond body oil with two delectable scents I found utterly irresistible. All that to say, our trip to Rosemary was fabulous. Here are some fun pics I took with my phone to document the trip:

Oh and did I mention, I found my dream house?? I'm totally going to live in a house just like this someday! :)

As if a beachy summer vacay isn't enough - I've finally planted my very own little ORGANIC GARDEN! I've talked (and dreamt) about doing this for quite some time now, and it has finally happened! We started a little late in the season for a summer garden, so we couldn't plant seeds, but we were able to find some neat veggies and herbs to plant that had already sprouted. I have to admit, Brenton did most of the hard work (what are husbands for?) but I'm so excited to see what comes of it. It looks small, I know, but we're planning on adding on. I want to double it by next month. We'll see how the first batch goes. Check it out!

We've planted eggplant, summer squash, cucumber, sweet bell peppers, sweet 100's (tomatoes), cantaloupe, strawberries, sweet basil, dill & cilantro. I can't wait to see what it produces!! :)

I think I've given you enough for now. I've discovered blogspot's new "pages" feature, and I've added a few summer pages to keep my summer cooking and project adventures up-to-date. Feel free to check them out soon! Hope you're staying cool, wherever you are!

Lots of love and blessings,

d

My Messy Life...

2010-03-07T08:22:00.001-08:00

You know those mornings where you just don't want to move? The ones that keep you in bed and pj's all day? I'm having one.

It's been a long couple of weeks. We're renovating a bathroom, putting together a guest room, I started a 2nd job, and everything in my life seems scattered. I feel like my mind and my heart have been strewn about the front lawn for all who drive by to see the mess of who I really am. I've never been good at hiding things (just ask my mom).

This season of newlywedness has been so sweet - but so challenging all at once. In Bible days, I think you got like 6 months to a year together of honeymooning before getting back to the real world (or something like that) - I could totally go for that about now. I feel like I never get to see my husband - my days are long and lonely cause our schedules just don't line up. I've never been one who agrees with the normal American schedule - work, sleep, work, sleep, work, sleep. Everything inside of me fights against the schedule I now have to maintain. Why can't I just create a pretty little art room in my home and hide in it all day? Creating beautiful things that people would adore and appreciate? That's all I truly want to do--that and sit at the piano and hum happy tunes my heart can dance to. In a perfect world....

All that to say - I'm ready for spring. Ready for a change - in need of a light and airy season to make my heart smile again. Who's with me??

♥
d

Chilly weather, please be gone...Sunshine, I'm ready!

2010-02-24T16:22:00.000-08:00

Yes, It's been a month since my last post - but who can blame me? I've been hibernating! I NEVER thought I would be saying this, but I'm over this unusual cold weather. I know the smoldering heat is not far behind, and I would usually give just about anything to escape it - but this Florida girl has thin blood and she's ready to reclaim her beach days! I'm ready to pull out that suit, pack a lunch and head to the beach from sunrise to sunset. Oh what I'd give to be on my honeymoon again, basking in the Cancun sun.....a girl can dream right?

It's been a busy month. So as I said a few posts ago, this year is a year of change - that statement remains true. With the turn of 2010, I vowed to be healthier - and don't think I'm doing it alone. Yes, I'm dragging my husband with me on my road to wellness (he's a good sport about it though :). With the help of Juice Plus+, my trusty gym membership, RealSimple.com, and CleanEatingMag.com - I have all the tools I need to be successful. Juice Plus+ is a whole food based capsule that contains several servings of fruits and vegetables - providing me with all the nutrients I fail to obtain on a daily basis. It's great! I first learned about Juice Plus+ when I was a student in college from a friend of mine, Sharon. At the time, Juice Plus+ was a product that made sense to me because it was just fruits and vegetables, but wasn’t something I could afford on a monthly basis. Now, a few years later after dealing with digestive problems, asthma and many common colds, I began to do research on vitamins and natural ways to heal and protect my body. I remembered my friend, Sharon, and decided to give her a call. After doing some research, I became really interested in it – I loved the simplicity of it and the practicality of it. So here I am, a month into it and have already seen several positive results from taking it daily - my digestive system has settled, my skin is so much clearer, and my body feels so much better overall. I'm such a believer, I've become a distributor cause I want all of my friends and family to have the benefits of more fruits and veggies in their diets. :) It's been quite an adventure, but being involved with the company that sells Juice Plus+, I've become so much more educated on my health and I find myself shopping at the grocery store so much differently. It's truly been a life style change. On top of that, I've been using the websites I mentioned above to help inspire healthier meals. We're cutting meat out quite a bit (not totally, but we're definitely eating less) and we're snacking on more whole foods. I can't praise my new regimen enough - I'm loving being healthier. It's fun! While explaining my new mindset to other people has become a challenge - I get lots of strange looks from people when I tell them what I'm up to, I feel so much better about the future of my health and my family. It's a good thing. If you're interested in learning about Juice Plus+ and you're local, leave me a comment and I'll send you an invite to my Healthy Living Educational Party. If you're not local, click here to see the research behind Juice Plus+ and the benefits of adding it to your daily diet.

So that's what I've been up to. I've also been helping my hubby in the youth with the kids - that's been an adventure. We recently had a lock-in, which totally wiped us out; about 60 kids came and stayed up ALL night! It's been a busy season, but fun none-the-less. I'm anxiously awaiting my spring weather and in the mean time, sipping on lots of hot tea! Hope you're staying warm this winter. Cheers!

-d

Eclipse and Bags of Love - Forgive My Randomness...

2010-01-20T08:17:00.000-08:00

It's been a quiet morning here in the Collyer household. The hubby stayed home this morning to prepare his message for the kids tonight, Lucy (my parent's dog, whom I'm currently pet sitting) has been sitting curled up by my feet and I have to say I woke up with a thick sore throat, so I've been totally engrossed in the third book of the Twilight Saga, Eclipse. ;)

Much to my surprise, I've enjoyed getting lost in the mythical love story....it's become my guilty pleasure. Not so impressed with the movies, but thoroughly captivated by the writings of Stephenie Meyer, her writing style is simple yet elegant. She has an innocent way of pulling you in and leaving you thirsty for more. (no pun intended)

As I mentioned two posts ago, 2010 is rapidly transforming into a year of new and exciting things. A few years back, while at a music school in south Florida, I had an opportunity to be involved with a group of people who had a burden for the homeless. Homelessness is huge in the Ft. Lauderdale/Miami area, mainly because the weather is usually mild (well, not too cold at least). While most travel to Miami for the beaches and the high end clubs and restaurants, this group of people had an entirely different mission - love on the broken and unloved. This group was quickly named Love Bags and it began to spread like wildfire. What was meeting once a week, became several nights of the week and then began spreading to areas outside of Ft Lauderdale, Miami and Pompano Beach. During a meeting we would come together, bringing canned goods and supplies to help the homeless survive, such as bottled water, canned tuna lunches, granola bars, socks, travel tooth brushes, etc., etc. We would assemble large ziploc bags and inside leave a tiny folded paper containing a verse of love. We would then take a few moments to pray for our evening, asking God to bless our night as He leads us to the broken and then be on our way. Using the buddy system, of course, and taking necessary precautions, we would hit the streets of south Florida (usually at night) in pursuit of the homeless. I'll never forget the conversation I had with a woman - evicted from her apartment because she lost her job and could no longer afford rent, she was found huddled on the porch of an abandoned house. We approached her carefully, only wanting to give her a bag and offer her kind words - but as the others in our group began to socialize with homeless people scattered near by, I felt compelled to ask her more about her life. I soon found out that she had once belonged to a wealthy family, had traveled the world and had been married with grown children - her husband, for whatever reasons, had left her and she found herself alone, trying to afford a suitable lifestyle for herself and her kids (whom were younger at the time of the divorce). Seeing the pain in her eyes as she recalled the events of her life, gripped my heart. Her face was beautiful despite the dirt that stuck after a humid day, her eyes were honest yet filled with tears. I couldn't help but sit there and hold her - an embrace and a prayer was all a poor college kid, like me, had to offer at the time. Towards the end of our conversation, she began rummaging through what little belongings she had, and pulled out a beautiful hand blown, glass bird. She placed it in the palm of my hand and told me it was from a trip to Europe she once took with her father - it was the most valuable thing she had and she wanted me to have it, in return for my kindness. My eyes began to burn, as I couldn't find the words to say.

And so here I sit, a few years later, not sure where that woman is today, but forever touched by her life. I'm challenged and compelled to live out Christianity in a way so real and tangible. So I'm proud to announce that I'm currently researching ways to bring Love Bags here to Pensacola. Now an official organization, they have a website explaining more of what they're about and how they touch the lives of the homeless community in south Florida. Click here to read their stories and see how you can be part of or begin a Love Bags chapter in your area. And stay tuned if you're interested in being part of the Pensacola movement - our projected start date is mid February.

Special Delivery...

2010-01-13T10:05:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but as a kid, racing to the mail box to see what the mail man had hand delivered was one of the highlights of my day. I used to write children my family sponsored through Compassion International and at times I had a few pen pals, so to receive a letter from one of my long distance friends was a true treat. These days, my mailbox seems less exciting, as it's usually filled with bills for me and catalogues for the man who lived in this house eons ago (how do I stop receiving those anyways?). Anyhow, my mail man hand delivered a special treat this week and I thought I'd share with the class...

My friend Allie Marie Smith, from an organization she founded a few years ago called Wonderfully Made, sent me one of her new tees and I think it's quickly become my new fav.

Click here to check out the WM website and don't forget to check out the store to see the tees and other fun products they're offering this year. It's such a neat organization and I'm blessed to be part of it in a small way. :)

Off to College She Goes....

2010-01-12T06:37:00.000-08:00

So today's the day my little sister begins her own little adventure as she heads off to Liberty University. It's a sad day for me, but an exciting one for her - I know God's got big plans for her, I'm honored to have been part of those plans up until now. I love you Ches and I can't wait to see you again soon!! -d

Love is Stirring...

2010-01-04T13:28:00.000-08:00

Happy 2010! I'm sure you welcomed the new year with style. I hope it was a fabulous week of Holidays for all! :) I certainly had my fair share of celebration - the newlyweds thoroughly enjoyed their first Christmas & New Year together, it was just wonderful!

With the new year has come fresh inspiration, new dreams and hope for the wonderful 365 days ahead! We had a low key New Years Eve. I had to work and Brenton was pretty wiped out from the day's events; so needless to say, it was just the two of us sprawled out on our beautiful new couch (which we are so very blessed to have), watching the New York City ball drop and counting down the minutes till we could raise high our glasses and sip our sparkling cider to 2010. As we were cleaning things up and getting ready to call it a day, I couldn't help but be a little excited about waking up to a fresh start. The following morning I found myself writing down my New Year's Resolutions as I usually do Jan 1st of every year - in my new journal, snuggled up on my new couch and listening to my new husband tinker around one room over, (are you catching my theme here? ;) I stopped to think about all the newness in my life and was reminded that in Him all things are made new and beautiful. He truly has made all things in my life new and beautiful and I couldn't be more grateful and more excited about what's to come. Brenton has recently taken over the high school youth group for the year and we've been talking about the things we're looking forward to doing with the kids as we get to know them. It blows my mind sometimes when I think that God has allowed Brenton and I to be an influence in these kid's lives - high school was such a pivotal season in my life, a time where I was faced with the decision to truly follow the footsteps of Christ or walk away, choosing to do my own thing. Praise God I chose to follow Him, but it wasn't an easy decision and if it hadn't been for the beautiful and courageous women God had placed around me at that time, I probably wouldn't have stood as strongly in my decision. So here I am, on the other side - with the opportunity to be that influence in these young lives. What an incredible privilege! With that said, I've been praying/thinking about ways to be that influence and it hit me like a ton of bricks (or as I usually say to Brenton, like an 18 wheeler) - it's so simple, live out the Bible. Truly put flesh, bones and breath to the Word of God. As that was sinking in, I found myself directed to an all familiar verse, James 1:27 (NIV) "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." - and thus a flame was sparked.

I can't help but grin when I think of how simple the gospel is, but how incredibly complicated I tend to make it. If we are to impact these kids (and be impacted by them), we need to learn how to be the hands and feet of God. His absence is growing here on earth, not by His doing, but by man's as they push and shove Him out of everything they do. Never before has the world seen a time where they so desperately need the hands and feet of Jesus. I don't know about you, but I want as much of Him as I can get before His return, who knows what this world will be like by then.

I have yet to talk with Brenton about my revelation, but over a brunch date with my mom this morning that flame turned into a blaze. What began as a conversation about new years goals and resolutions, excitedly became an "I want to change the way I live and the way our community thinks" discussion. After brainstorming on how to truly do that, I left with my heart burning to reach out and touch the heart of God, to live a life so pure and faultless that it pleases my Creator beyond my wildest imagination. So here I sit, challenged, encouraged and instructed to love. To love and look after the orphans and widows and to keep myself from being polluted by a self-serving world. Are you up for the challenge? Will you do it with me? Will you be the hands and feet of God in a time where He's not exactly welcomed? Will you be the love that's missing? Stay tuned for the ways I intend to do so (as I mentioned, I have yet to speak with my hubby haha and I plan to do that soon. Once I do, you'll hear back from me) - let love stir in your heart this year and let 2010 be the year we live it out!

A Noteworthy Obsession:

2009-12-15T08:56:00.000-08:00

Just when I think I'm finally finished writing my thank you notes (I've lost count at this point, I've seriously written hundreds of them though), I receive the little rush of late cards/gifts. While we appreciate all of our well-wishes and gifts so very much, there should be an etiquette rule saying that anything received a month after the wedding does not need a thank you note. :) At this rate, I'm never going to be free of my thank you note task.

It may be a little late, but my latest stationary obsession is adorable personalized return address stamps. A friend of mine stamped her wedding response card with a personalized stamp and I haven't stopped searching for one ever since. I finally found a website that has a wide variety of styles, and now I'm trying to decide which one I want. (This would have been so helpful in addressing my thank you's, but I can always use them for my Christmas cards. :) One of these would make a perfect gift for a newlywed, I have several friends who are recently engaged - I think I know what I'm getting them! :)

I'm trying to decide which one I want, maybe you can help me.

From Noteworthy Notes:

Professional Pics Are In! :)

2009-12-14T09:49:00.000-08:00

So the professional wedding pics are in and I'm just dying to share them - they just came out so beautifully! My photographers were Jeremy and Hara Cook (an adorable husband and wife duo) from Cook Images in Pensacola, FL and they just do a stunning job with every picture I've ever seen of theirs! The following pictures came from their blog (www.cookimages.com - check em out!) and I'm so excited to share them with you! :) It truly was a beautiful day - Praise God. :) Enjoy!

New Beginnings...

2009-12-01T07:58:00.000-08:00

We did it! We finally tied the knot! :) All my worrying, planning, fretting and praying paid off - it was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined it. God truly blessed our day. Everything from the music to the flowers, the decor to the food was incredible - my bridesmaids (if I may say so myself) were breathtaking. Miss Gay and her daughter, Kayla, (a family friend and amazing hairdresser) did a stunning job on hair. My florist, Shannon at Fiore, made incredible arrangements (my bouquet was out of this world)! And my precious groom was as handsome as he's ever been! Oh! And the weather was perfect (Hurricane Ida held back her fury for 24 hrs) - our day was a dream come true.

I sat in my living room a few days ago and took a look around me and thought, "Wow! I am just so stinking blessed. I don't deserve any of this." I can't help but fight back tears when I think of all that's taken place in my life over the past 3 months; God has truly poured His blessings over even the slightest of details. My relationship with God has taken on a whole new meaning now that I've experienced being a bride - words can't accurately describe that moment of walking down the aisle arm in arm with my sweet daddy, gazing past all the people as my eyes met the eyes of one who loves me enough to sacrifice his life to be with me forever. What an overwhelming experience - all my dad remembers me saying to him was, "Where's my Brenton? I can't see him." I don't remember much of what I said, but my dad was thrilled to be giving me away to a man I was anxious to set my eyes on. As I reminisce that moment, I can't help but feel like I've finally grasped the analogy of being the bride of Christ. What a sweet thing for Him to call us - I can't imagine a love deeper than what Brenton and I share, but it's there waiting for us every morning. How intimate, I can't get over it!

My sweet husband (I love calling him that!:) just showered me with surprises (I planned the wedding, he planned everything beyond that) - he had a beautiful get away car all ready for our departure complete with an adorable "Just Married" sign and the car stereo blaring Michael Buble. He arranged for us to stay at The Lee House (a bed and breakfast I've always wanted to stay at. If you only knew my obsession with the woman who owns it, she's my local hero) - it was even better than my highest expectations. And to top it all, he had planned the perfect honeymoon. We went to Cancun, Mexico and stayed at an all-inclusive, couples resort. It was just so amazing to get away and relax in such a beautiful place with my best friend by my side!

I'm anxious to see the official pictures from our photographer, but several friends have posted pictures from the day, so I'll share those for now. Thanks so much for all of the prayers, congratulations and beautiful gifts everyone sent - we were blessed beyond anything we could have imagined and we were so happy to share such a beautiful day with all those who could make it to the wedding! Enjoy the pics!

Much love and blessings,

Mrs. Collyer :)

EDIT :: // - So I totally had these in order and sadly I just realized that blogger messed up my order. Sorry for the scattered-ness.

I Surrender...

2009-10-19T22:01:00.000-07:00

It's been one of those weeks - you know, one of those weeks that your mind and emotions carry you away to a frenzied place so crippling it consumes your thoughts as you lie awake at night imagining all of the "what if's" of life and the stress of the day manifests itself in your body so much so that things stop functioning properly.

We're less than 3 weeks away from the big day and somewhere between Monday and Tuesday of last week my focus was thrown so far off that my body had a complete meltdown. I had been so consumed by forgotten invitations, counting response cards, designing floral arrangements, taking care of my bridal party and working out till every calorie consumed had been counted for several times over again, that I had lost sight of the big picture - Brenton and I, an exciting future together and all of the many blessings God's showered us with along the way. A swollen body, major hives, a cortisone shot, several doses of Benadryl and lots of drug induced sleep later I had been reminded - it's not about me. No matter how many pieces of chocolate I deny myself or how many pretty dresses I can find for the rehearsal dinner, nothing on that day will make me more beautiful than a radiant spirit, a peaceful heart and a body well rested. With so many details to remember, it's impossible for one person to take on the stress of keeping it all together. All peace and sanity had been shoved aside for the sake of counting response cards, sampling cake and hunting for the perfect brown ribbon, and for that I've paid the price.

Tonight Brenton and I were sitting on the couch listening to song after song, trying to select the perfect Brenton/Danya wedding playlist. An artist by the name of Jadon Lavik came up and his rendition of "I Surrender All" began to play. I had to fight back tears as the words "I surrender all/I surrender all/All to Thee my Blessed Savior/I surrender all" oozed over my heart. One little chorus pulled my heart back to that sweet but so difficult place of surrender. Loosening my white knuckled grip on all of the events consuming every moment of every passing day is so hard, but when I take a step back and realize it's truly about Him the things clouding my vision fall away and I'm left standing before my Beautiful King, whole and complete - He is truly all that I need. My heart is His above all and this wedding is the product of His handiwork, who am I to sell my emotions, my peace and my every waking moment to a day that will come and be gone just as fast as the sun rises and sets? What a relief - that one day is not where it all ends, but where it begins. A beginning, a birthing of something new, something exciting, something blessed, something purely of my Jesus. I am not worthy to bear His Name, but as long as I'm continually brought back to that humbling place of surrender, my life will be found something of worth. Drop it all at the feet of the King and find your rest in Him. :)

♥ d

Fall brings out the little Martha Stewart in me....brace yourselves!

2009-10-01T15:16:00.001-07:00

Okay so my darling sister went on a hunt for a can of pumpkin and the results were heartbreaking....according to the Publix boy, the pumpkin crops flooded and all of our local gorcers will not have shipments of pumpkin until late next week! Who would have guessed? Just when I'm ready to toss my pre-wedding diet out the window for my favorite pumpkin cookies, my dreams are drowned in a sad story of flooded pumpkin crops. Oh well, life goes on. To make up for the sad dilemma, we made pumpkin spice cappuccinos and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies instead. They weren't pumpkin cookies - but they satisfied the chocolate craving.

Today is the first day I've taken a break from wedding planning since Israel. I slept till 8:45am and realized my heavy body wasn't so happy with all my running around - so I enjoyed a leisurely morning at the gym (as leisurely as the gym can be), had a picnic lunch with the fiance at our favorite waterfront spot in Gulf Breeze, proposed to him (yes, I proposed...hehe, his ring came in this week, so I decided to do my own little proposal in order to ensure we won't have any size issues during the exchanging of vows. And he said yes - for those who were wondering! hehe, he was delighted to see it. :), and then baked cookies and drank coffee with my sister. It's been a wonderful day - a much needed break from the wedding madness. I'm tempted to take a long weekend off from it all - but with 5 weeks and counting, I don't think I can afford it.

With the photographer booked, dress fitted and altered, cake ordered, and flowers planned - my next big project is turning a house into a home. I've always dreamed of having a home of my own to paint, decorate and fill every nook and cranny with a touch of Danya. Living in apartments with sterile walls and several female roommates who seem to have completely different tastes and opinions, I've never had the chance to just run wild with my love for decor and fashion within the home. Now that the opportunity is staring me in the face - I'm not so sure what to do or where to begin. I'm obsessed with bright colors - I love a cozy atmosphere with lots of lush fabrics, an array of textures and lots of soft lighting, yet I like a slight clean and modern look with a splash of antiques and worn pieces. The house we're moving into is bigger than I ever imagined our first place being, so with lots of space, no furniture and little time to paint or decorate before we move in is certainly a challenge. It's an older home, probably built in the 70's but has since then been remodeled and is as cute as can be. I've been doing some research to spark inspiration and here are some of my favorites thus far...

My relaxation has come to an end....I'm off to rehearsal.

Much ♥,
d

Fall, Fall, Fall!!!!

2009-09-30T10:28:00.001-07:00

Oh my goodness, my heart could not be any happier! Cooler weather, pumpkin spice and a wedding around the corner - it's all so much fun! I am absolutely OBSESSED with Fall! I broke out the boots and scarves this morning and it felt so refreshing - it somehow makes this season of my life so much more exciting (just when I thought it couldn't get any more exciting)!

With the cooler weather I'll be sure to be making a batch of my all time favorite Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies this weekend! If you're a pumpkin lover like myself, I HIGLY recommend you try baking them. In fact, I love them so much I'll share my secret little recipe:

1 1/2 C Pumpkin (I recommend the spiced can of pumpkin, not the regular...and add more pumpkin if you like a more cakey cookie, less if you like it firmer - i'm a fan of the cakey kind)
3/4 C Sugar
1/2 C Oil
1 Egg
2 C Flour
2 tsp Baking Powder
1 tsp Cinnamon
1/2 t Salt
1 tsp Baking Soda
1 tsp Milk
1 C Chocolate Chips (I always add extra :)
1 tsp Vanilla
Nuts (optional - I usually do them without, but if you're a nut lover - go for it)

Dissolve baking soda in milk; set aside. In a large bowl add pumpkin, sugar, oil, and egg; stir. Add flour, baking powder, cinnamon, salt and baking soda mixture. Mix well. Stir in chocolate chips and vanilla. Spoon onto cookie sheet. Bake at 375 degrees 10 to 12 minutes or until done. Enjoy!

Well, I'm off to run today's wedding errands, but let me know I've sparked a new addiction.

Happy Fall!

&hearts d

Oh yeah - I'm still planning a wedding...

2009-09-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

Just 6 weeks from yesterday I will become Mrs. Brenton Collyer! It's so crazy to think about! I had a walk through on Friday with my two wedding coordinators and it hit me - this is really happening! It's so exciting though. God has truly blessed us beyond belief and we haven't even said "I do" yet. I constantly look around at all the things He's done and is doing and think to myself, "This is crazy. I don't deserve any of this." But it's a true example of His love - His amazing, undeserving love. It's so sweet.

So I'm totally the girl that gushes and grins at the thought of my very own wedding and I'm absolutely the girl that wants to show the world what it's going to look like before it even happens; but I can't, I'm not letting myself. I would show pictures of my dress cause I absolutely love it and I would show pictures of my flower ideas and my cake but you'll simply have to wait until after the honeymoon to see. Something I CAN share with you though is our future home! :) We're so blessed to be able to rent a HOUSE during our first year of married life - we will know this week which one it is (it's a toss up between two different ones at the moment). And as if wedding planning isn't hectic enough, throw in decorating and creating a home on top and you've got one scatter-brained girl. I've been thinking about what our home will look/feel like and all I can think of is aqua and pink! Poor Brenton - haha! He's been a good sport about all of my girly wedding colors and even our registry haha, but as for the house, I'm not so sure pink and aqua will fly. We'll see - in the mean time, here's a little taste of my latest color obsession :

♥,
d

I left my heart in Israel...

2009-09-24T08:06:00.000-07:00

I am alive - I promise! :) I've been putting this blog off because I really want to accurately share the most life changing moments I've ever experienced, with you. Our trip to Israel was just incredible (I'd HIGHLY recommend it to anybody, believer or non-believer, it's worth every penny) and to put into words what my heart experienced over a two week span is simply impossible. So here's to my humble attempt to describe the beautiful Promised Land...

Despite the long, grueling hours of travel, unfamiliar foods, lack of working hair dryers, intense desert heat and the full days of touring site after site - my heart feels as if it's had the ultimate awakening and rejuvenation. To stand on the mountains Jesus once stood on and to see the sights He probably saw was nothing short of amazing, my Bible reading has gone from fuzzy, black and white to High Definition and extreme color in a matter of days! It's real - it's all real....that's the only thing I can tell you. From the Sea of Galilee and the Valley of Armageddon, Nazareth and Bethlehem, the Jordan River to the Dead Sea, the Mt. of Olives to the Via Dolorosa - it's all there! It truly exists!

I'd have to say a few of my most memorable moments were traveling across the Sea of Galilee on a replica similar to the boats Jesus and His disciples would have traveled on, walking through the ruins of Capernaum where Jesus once lived, being baptized in the Jordan River, floating in the Dead Sea, traveling to a tented Bedouin dinner via camels, walking through the Holocaust Museum and tangibly seeing the heartbreaking history of God's chosen people, laying eyes on the Dead Sea Scrolls, leading worship with my fiance and praying for our future together amongst the olive trees in the Garden of Gethsemane, walking the Via Dolorosa where Jesus publicly carried the cross, and lastly - visiting the Garden Tomb Jesus may have very well been laid in for three days!

I've never seen so much rock and dirt in my life!! My first thought was - this is it? THIS is the Promised Land the Bible so sacredly talks about? But as we traveled from site to site and began to dig into the scriptures - it made sense. These people were and still are - the heart of God. This land is His and it reeks of spiritual warfare. They have no natural resources and the land is a desert, but they've worked so hard and have created beautiful orchards and crops and are abundant in beautiful, fresh food. As you travel through the winding roads and passes, you look out to see an array of crops that produce the most beautiful fruits and vegetables. These people are passionate about their country and they're hard workers - they've worked so hard to make it a fruitful land despite their lack of natural resources (oil, precious metals and gems, etc).

Our guide, Ido, was one of the most interesting people I've ever met. A Messianic Jew and archeologist, he was passionate and knowledgeable of his homeland. He displayed more passion for His God and His land in two weeks than most people in America will ever display in a lifetime. It's real to him. He understands He is a chosen race and He is living in a crazy era - one where God is preparing the land for His return. And as I mentioned before, spiritual warfare is almost overwhelming. The Jews vs. the Muslims - God vs. Satan. We spent a few days in Jerusalem visiting the Western Wall (the Wailing Wall), the Temple Mount (where the Temple once sat and where the third Temple will be rebuilt according to the book of Revelation, yet the Dome of the Rock currently resides) and the Dome of the Rock - all intense spiritual places. The Jews at the Western Wall passionately read through their books of prayers and maintain their religious rituals totally blind to the fact that the Messiah has already come and is returning once again very soon - a very strange experience standing amongst women who dedicate their lives to their rituals. Driving through the Muslim quarter was an entirely different experience - walking amongst Muslims who dedicate their lives to a god who doesn't exist and passionately fight to maintain control over the Temple Mount so they can keep their place of worship. These people live so closely to one another, yet hate one another so strongly and still - they're missing it all - Jesus is the One who came to save them and God is the One who will deliver them from other nations and return to save them.

Lastly, the Dome of the Rock and the Temple Mount - what a bizarre thing it was to stand so close to a stunning structure that represented so much evil. It made my stomach churn just being there, but a few short feet away from the building, stands the Eastern Wall - the Lions Gate where Christ will return! It's so amazing that so much spiritual tension is held in one concentrated place! You can't help but feel overwhelmed by it while standing on that mountain. Prior to visiting the Dome of the Rock, we were taken to a place that housed the makings of the items that will be displayed and used in the third Temple. I wasn't aware of this until we visited this location, but plans are already in the making for the third Temple and everything is being prepared - they've already reconstructed several of the items the Bible talks about in the first Temple and have done so according to the exact materials and measurements listed in the Bible. They are just waiting to have control of the Temple Mount again so that they may build the Temple where it belongs. It was so amazing to see the attire of the priests and the golden lamp stands and to smell the incense and myrrh they would be using - prophecy being fulfilled before our very eyes! Another amazing fact is that while standing near the Dome of the Rock, you notice that behind it there is plenty of space for the Third temple to be built AND it lines up perfectly with the Lions Gate! Ido seemed to think that someday they will build a wall between the Dome of the Rock and the empty space and will allow the Jews to rebuild the Temple there in an attempt of peace. Ironically, the area that the Temple could be rebuilt is located directly over the place they think the Holy of Holies was located! Talk about chilling! I couldn't believe I was standing on ground that prophecy was going to take place on!

I truly did leave my heart in Israel, I hope to return again someday soon. I loved the people, the land and the history. If you ever have a chance to visit, please do so - it'll change your life! It's real - all the things the Bible talks about are so real and prophecy is being fulfilled daily! God's stirring the heart of His people and is preparing His land for His return! "Because you have kept My command to persevere, I also will keep you from the hour of trial which shall come upon the whole world, to test those who dwell on the earth. Behold, I am coming quickly! Hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown." Revelation 3:10-11

Sorry this was so long, if you have a minute feel free to check out a few pics from the trip (I have two albums on Facebook if you'd like to see more :):

Update from Jerusalem, Israel....

2009-09-07T10:45:00.000-07:00

I have 2.40 minutes to give a quick update. We made it safely to Israel and oh my goodness has it changed my life! I LOVE this country! I love the land, the people, the history and most importantly - I'm falling so deeply in love with my Jesus all over again! It's truly been an incredible experience. We've been to so many sites and locations - too many to cover in less than two minutes, but we have visited the Sea of Galilee, the valley of Armageddon (sp?), and the Wailing Wall just to name a few. We are now in Jerusalem and will be here for the remainder of our trip. I can't wait to share my pics and stories once we return! Lots of love and prayers!

d

Weekend Love...

2009-08-29T22:01:00.000-07:00

What a weekend!

The fiance has been out of town for the weekend (He returns tomorrow evening - praise God! I don't know how much longer I can take his absence!), so I decided to take full advantage of this weekend and fill it with all things girly! It was a blast!

From manicures and pedicures, bridal fittings with my maids, dinner with the ladies, and an ultimate chick-flick to lazy beach mornings basking in the sun and shopping till I dropped (or more accurately put - till my bank account was nearly emptied). I have to say it was quite the weekend. I am, however, ready to have my dear Brenton back - absence truly makes the heart grow fonder.

I have yet to mention this through the blog - but to add to the hectic events that have consumed my recent life, I'm leaving Tuesday for a 12 day trip to Israel! I am beyond excited! It truly is the biggest blessing that I get to go on this trip. To give a little background - my church is taking a group of people to Israel to walk all the major places Jesus walked. Brenton was asked a few months back to go on the trip as the group's worship leader. Just as green with envy as I could have possibly been, I began to beg God to somehow provide a way for me to go along. I had 3 days till the $$ deadline and still, no way to afford the trip, so I decided to fast and pray for a day about the matter. The day of fasting came to an end and the deadline had passed and there I was - no way to go to Israel. A few weeks later - our house sold and my family began to throw the idea around of going to Israel as one last big family trip. To my surprise (and great excitement), we were able to jump through some hoops and now, here I am - just 3 days away from stepping foot on Jesus' turf - WITH MY FIANCE! :) I'm seriously still blown away by God's goodness and His graciousness - He never ceases to amaze me.

With all the wedding planning, I haven't had much time to prepare for the trip, however, I feel like God has quietly been pruning my heart and preparing me for the things He has for me there. I've been in such a vulnerable place lately with some things that have been going on around me - it's been so sweet to see God pour His comfort over me and shower me with His blessings as tokens of His love. I don't deserve my God or His salvation, but He so gently continues to care for me and love on me regardless of how unworthy I may be. No matter where you are in life, what you're going through, what you've gained or what you've lost - He is the one thing that matters from here through eternity, and He wants to shower you with His love. So love Him back with all of your heart - He won't disappoint. :)

Much love,

d

72 Days & Counting...

2009-08-27T10:43:00.000-07:00

Just a short 72 days till I become Mrs. Collyer! I truly can't believe it! I've made quite some headway since I last posted. I've found my dress and went for my alterations fitting this week - the bustle is going to be GORGEOUS! I'm so excited about it! The seamstress took 2 hours to design it, but she was good! I won't say anymore than that, I want the rest of it to be a surprise to all who see! :)

I've finally agreed on a bridesmaid dress as well - this has probably been the most stressful part of my decision making thus far. I have 7 bridesmaids and just about EVERY body type you could imagine, not to mention most of them are girls on a budget - so finding a color that's not too bold, a style that's flattering on all and a price that fits every budget has been so challenging! So I've arrived at an elegant, long, black & cream dress. It changes my theme a little, it's a bit more vintage-glam than it is shabby-chic, but that's okay - I'm learning that flexibility is key to enjoying a short engagement.

Here are a few pics I've been using for inspiration. Enjoy!

Location, Location, Location!!

2009-08-13T07:22:00.000-07:00

So we went location scouting yesterday - as it would, it poured all afternoon. It made searching for the perfect outdoor location slightly difficult, but needless to say, the day was productive. I've found my dream location - we'll see if we can make it happen.

I've always wanted a quaint wedding shared with a select group of close family and friends - but through the years as Brenton and I have both served on staff at Calvary and have been heavily involved in several of the ministries there, we've developed such sweet relationships with so many of the wonderful people there. Of course we would LOVE to share this big day with all of those people, we simply cannot afford to. So we're trying to find a way to involve everyone. I'm not so sure how that will look quite yet, but I truly hope to make something work! :)

In the mean time, check out our potential location:

Hope everyone's having a lovely day!

Lots of love,

d

And we're off!

2009-08-10T07:48:00.000-07:00

Planning mode has kicked in and we're in full swing - it's a race against time to pull it all together! I'm so excited! This week's major goals : set the budget, book the location and nail down the photographer. I'm praying the weekend we're shooting for is available...we'll see. I'm so excited about my theme - shabby chic! :) I don't want to give away all my secrets, but I'll share a few photos I came across this morning.

I have to admit - I don't think I'll be getting much sleep over the next few months. I was so excited I could barely close my eyes last night! Party planning begins this afternoon and dress shopping begins this weekend! :) Well, I'm off to watch the boys - hope everyone's doing well! Thanks for all the prayers, love, excitement, encouragement, support and congratulations! Brenton and I are so very excited to share this commitment with all of the beautiful people God's placed around us! We love you all!

Lots of love,

d

Let the count down begin!

2009-08-08T22:36:00.000-07:00

So the last thing I EVER expected to happen this weekend, happened! The most wonderful man I've ever met PROPOSED to me today! After 4 years of friendship, and almost 3 of dating - we're finally ENGAGED! I couldn't be more thrilled! We're hoping to be married by the end of the year. I'm so looking forward to this next season of life!

I'm in love with the ring - he did such a great job of picking out the most beautiful ring! It's absolutely prefect! Not too big, not too small, delicate and elegant - and oh so sparkly! =) Ahh, what a great feeling it is to know that I've met the one and I have the privilege of spending the rest of my life with such a wonderful man!

The proposal (in a nut shell): He called this afternoon after I was done with an appointment and kept asking if I wanted to go on a bike ride or for a picnic....not really feeling it, I said no and suggested we take a drive to Destin to get away for a few hours. The drive was nice, filled with conversation of dreams and plans we hoped to some day accomplish. After a little exploring, we made our way to PF Changs - a Danya favorite. Enjoyed a fantastic dinner and after a few stops, began to make our way back home. As we were heading home, he suggested we take the beach route back and catch the sunset before making our way back. Who can argue that? So we start looking for a place to park and as we do, I notice he keeps nervously looking back at the sinking sun. He grabs my hand as we're leaving the car and I retreat, asking, "why are your hands wet?" "Must be the humidity," he replied. Thinking nothing more of it, we walk down to the water - totally alone, not a person near. He pulls me in to give me a hug and I notice his heart pounding - I thought it was strange but just assumed he was REALLY excited about seeing the sunset! Haha! He starts a conversation off by saying something about how great of a girlfriend I've been and how he's failed me at times, but he's learning and is looking forward to more days with me and before I know it, he's on one knee - the moment was surreal! I kept thinking, this has to be a joke, he can't be serious - I've only dreamed of this day, I never thought it would REALLY HAPPEN!! He pulls out the most BEAUTIFUL ring and offers it to me - who can't say yes?! :) After lots of hugging, squealing and jumping (and fighting back tears) - we rushed home to share the news with family and friends!

What a sweet night. One I'll never forget. I have to say, I'm the luckiest girl alive tonight. I'm so excited about our future and cannot wait to begin our new life together! Wedding planning will be in full swing and the race is on to pull it together before the end of the year. What a wonderful weekend!

Lots of love,

d

The Bema

2009-08-06T06:36:00.000-07:00

Hello!

Happy Thursday! I love Thursdays because they're so close to Friday; the week is more than halfway over and rest is on its way! :)

Last night a man by the name of Michael Sewell came to Calvary to do a presentation called "The Bema." It was a one-man monologue, but so emotionally captivating and spiritually challenging. The Bema is a throne of judgement that we will all encounter after Christ raptures the church. It's a righteous judgement though - a judgement that determines how many treasures we've stored in heaven and not on earth. Michael painted such a beautiful picture of God's grace and the importance of living life with a heavenly mindset. He primarily summed it up with the line, "Everything is different at the Bema." It is so true! And we so often forget that life on earth is a microscopic dot on the timeline of eternity.

On Thursday night's I've been going through the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan (I HIGHLY recommend it!) and it too carries a similar message - life is short and God is a god of grace who is full of an intense love for us, His creation. One quote he shares towards the end of the book, from a woman named Annie Dillard is, "How we live our days is how we live our lives." Every day counts because it's one day closer to our last on earth." I don't know about you, but I want my life to count! If that means sacrificing earthly comforts and an acceptable "status," then so be it. I just don't want to be that girl in heaven regretting all the opportunities I passed up to impact this world because I was more concerned about me and what I "needed." That's what I've been chewing on lately. Hope it was somewhat encouraging and challenging. I've been doing some serious evaluating lately, with the move and having to clean out all my possessions and making some big decisions that will impact the rest of my life from here out - I want to rid my life of me and fill it with so much more of Jesus. It's a constant battle, but one worth fighting!

"Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me
Lead me to the cross"
(Hillsong United)

Have a wonderful Thursday!

Lots of love!

d

Weeks away from paradise...

2009-08-05T08:48:00.000-07:00

What a weekend! Today is the last day of our moving frenzy...after today we can start focusing on unpacking and making the rental more home-like. It'll be the best feeling to be settled and to know where everything is - finding things we use on a daily basis has been a challenge.

I'm really looking forward to beach days soon - tourist season is finally coming to an end and cooler weather is not too far away (hopefully). Paradise is just a few steps away from my front door....

Thanks so much for the prayers and help for all those who spent their weekend helping us move! We are so blessed to have such amazing family and friends!

Lots of love!

d

Venti Caramel Macchiato Please?

2009-07-31T14:04:00.000-07:00

Less than 24 hours till moving day....what a mess this place is! Trying to find something you need is a nightmare! I've had to work all week, so finding time and energy for packing has been difficult. Tonight is my official "get it all done" night, and my cousin and dear friend, Maggie, has been kind enough to spend her Friday night helping me. I'm so thankful for the wonderful people God's put in my life.

I will be very thankful when all of this is over. Well, I'd better get back to work. Thanks for all the prayers!

Much love,

d

Fond Memories & New Beginnings

2009-07-30T15:11:00.000-07:00

As I pack up my life again, I'm combing through so many things that bring back such sweet memories of growing up. It's amazing how much stuff one accumulates over a life time. I've always felt my storage space was small, but now that I'm tearing it apart, I'm realizing how much I've had stowed away all along. I've come across some pretty funny things - things and photos that remind me of my childhood, my awkward tween years and my high school days. Good laughs have been had, I assure you.

While it's sad to leave my beautiful room (which I put so much time into decorating) and bathroom (maybe I'll have some pics to post soon), it's exciting to know that fresh things are ahead. Sure it's my parent's house and I knew I wouldn't be here forever (at least I had hoped I wouldn't), but something about coming back to visit a place that holds so many memories is just nostalgic. I know I'll be moving on to new things within the next few months - but the thought of coming back to visit my family in an unfamiliar home is less than exciting.

On the upside, I've cleaned out so much junk and rid myself of things I had no idea I had held onto. It's somewhat freeing. I'm looking forward to a fresh start for myself and my family - since we'll be free of a house and it's maintenance, we've decided to take this time and do some traveling together as a family one last time before my sister and I officially "grow up." I'm so excited about this! I've been dreaming of traveling since I was a kid, and here's my chance to finally do it! I know big changes are around the corner for myself, so this last bit of quality time with my family will be cherished. We aren't too sure exactly what our destinations will be, but at the moment Hawaii, Australia and New Zealand are on the table. Believe it or not, I don't have a passport - so that's on the top of my to do list as soon as we settle in the rental house next week. I've been to Canada and Mexico and at the time, neither required a passport to enter, so now I'm on a mission. How's that for a little update? (I'm getting better at this :)

Much love!

d

Sleepless Night #2 - I'm on a roll.

2009-07-26T22:45:00.001-07:00

So I'm moving again. This time it's only a few miles distance...actually my whole family is moving. We put our house up for sale a few months ago and after much prayer, house cleaning, and showing - we've found a buyer. Passed the home inspection and completed the appraisal - at this point, all that's left is the boxing up and moving out. This frenzy begins tomorrow. Due to the quickness of the sale, we've decided to make an extended vacay out of the transition and rent a fun house on the beach for 6 months or so. The only down side to this is we have to store just about EVERYTHING. Because the house is a beach rental, it's completely furnished - therefore we won't have room for the many pieces of furniture we've acquired through the years. As much as I just adore packing (smell the sarcasm?), sadly my end of the prep will have to be done throughout the late afternoons and/or evenings after work.

It's a bitter-sweet season for all of us. As we're all very excited for the things God has ahead, we're so sad to leave behind this beautiful home we've been so blessed to live in over the past 5 or 6 years. We've made so many good memories here, it always stings to shut the door on those.

Aside from that major endeavor - I've been nannying throughout the summer. The boys go back to school in August and I'll be out of a job once again. But not to fear, I have some things in the works that will keep me quite busy (I'll get to that in a moment). My best friend and dearest sister is also leaving me next month. :( As excited for her as I am, I'm terribly sad we'll be so far away from each other once again. She's moving to Lynchberg, VA to study communications at Liberty University. That too has had God's fingerprints all over it, so I know I can't be selfish - I'll just have to share her with LU for a season. I assure you, she will be dearly missed.

So my plans once the kids return to school?? Traveling! I'm so excited! Traveling is what makes me itch! I'll be heading to VA with my sister for a week in late August and then will head to the beautiful coast of California for a while in September - it gets better - with my DAD! :) He's been promising me a trip to California since 8th grade and I'm so excited, we finally have the time to do it! I believe we'll be traveling from San Francisco to San Diego and everywhere in between. California has had my heart for a few years now - probably since my first mission trip to Mexico 7 years ago. Needless to say, I'm thrilled to be returning to my favorite state. Beaches, shopping, sight seeing, visiting some of my favorite churches and hopefully seeing old friends - oh and can't forget that sweet father/daughter time! When I was little my dad used to take me on sales trips all the time (he's a rep for a sunglass company and travels up and down the East coast frequently), it was special one on one time with my dad that I so eagerly looked forward to. We haven't taken a trip together in years, so I'm really looking forward to this one. After California, Brenton and I are going with my parents to Tampa for a U2 concert (yay!) and then hopefully, if things work as planned, we'll be taking a trip to Ohio to visit his homeland. I have yet to see the places he grew up and meet the faces he speaks of frequently, so I'm looking forward to meeting his past. The trip is still in the planning stages, but we're hoping to go to Ohio and Michigan and then to Chicago to visit his sister Katie. While traveling, I'm really hoping to be journaling, writing, and breathing fresh air as I pray for this next season of life. Lots of new and exciting things ahead. My aimlessness seems to temporarily have a pause in sight - that is truly a relief.

Sorry I'm so bad at updating - maybe these sleepless nights aren't so bad after all....they're productive. :)

Love and blessings,

d

I must continue...

2009-07-25T23:35:00.001-07:00

Totally can't sleep tonight....so I thought I'd put this time to good use, possibly relieve my brain from the many thoughts circling round and round.

Life never stops - change is always creeping around the corner and my heart easily finds itself left behind as I try to keep up with the fast pace of adjustment. Often, time is wasted as I backtrack trying to find the pieces of myself that have been strung along tattered streets. Calloused from the travels, and lightly bruised from the unexpected stops along the way - I retreat to regain strength. Creativity tries to fan a spark but can't seem to find the air necessary to birth more than a weak flicker. Beauty hides somewhere deep within and has great difficulty revealing itself, yet I'm determined to find it. Dreams have been put aside for all things logical, drowning in a sea of "responsibility" like a bag of bricks tossed overboard before it had the chance to reach it's intended destination. Yet somehow, through all the lurking, running, fanning and sinking - my grip remains tighter than ever as my frail fingers clutch ever-so tightly to the one hand that's worth holding. His light will pierce my darkness, His peace will heal my wounds, His spirit will ignite my fire, His breath will fill my lungs and His death will sustain my fragile life - for after all, He is the reason I must continue.

My Thoughts on Worship....

2009-07-14T12:57:00.001-07:00

Hello friends,

Just thought I'd share a link : www.wonderfullymadeblog.blogspot.com I recently wrote a blog about my thoughts on worship for them and it was published this morning. :) Check it out and let me know what you think! Hope you're doing well! Updates coming soon!

Lots of love,

d

Girl on a Mission...

2009-05-27T15:29:00.000-07:00

I think I've figured out why I have such a difficult time updating - I have ADD! Seriously, I cannot sit still for the life of me these days. I had issues with this as a kid in school (which is why I went through every type of schooling available in our area: all girl's private school, co-ed private school, home school, back to private school, homeschool again, public school, early admissions, etc., etc.) I love to write and I love to journal, I love to share my life with people and I love looking back on all the things God's doing in my life, but when it comes to sitting down and blogging about it - I find myself wandering around facebook, checking out the latest cruise specials or clicking through the most recent tours posted on statravel.com (haha, my secrets are out). So here I am - making myself focus. :) We'll see how it goes...

I finally have a job - a temporary one, but a job none-the-less. :) I'm nannying for a family I've known for a few years now. They called me out of the blue, desperate for a part-time nanny and well, I was desperate for work - so it was a win/win situation! :) They have two darling little boys (2 & 5)...the two year old is smiley 24/7 and the five year old talks constantly, informing me of all the events in his life, his brother's life and the lives of everyone else around him. :) Most would find this tiring, I find it amusing. I love his excitement for life and his curiosity - it reminds me of myself as a kid.

I've been in such a constant state of transition over the past few years, it seems things are always changing - never stable. Part of me loves the freedom this brings - knowing that things will never be the way they are "forever", therefore, why not give everything and anything a try? Yet, at the same time it's a bit frustrating...I'm constantly asking God what He's doing with me, what His ultimate plan and purpose for my life is. I'm realizing I had a rose-tinted outlook on "life" during high school and the short years that quickly followed - now that I've had a taste of what it's really like, I'm honestly a bit baffled. I know I have an intense love for my God and I deeply desire to use my gifts to serve Him for the rest of my life - yet, I'm finding my heart a bit numb to all things "spiritual." I say "spiritual" because the life I've lived up until now has been "spiritual" with a chunk of a Christ-centered relationship strewn about here and there. I've grown up in a Christian home, a Christian school (most of my life), a Christian church with Christian friends and extended family....I'm about as Christian as anyone gets - and yes, I realized in high school that Christianity was so much more than living out the life I had always lived, it was nurturing a personal relationship with my Creator, but now that I'm of age to make my own decisions and personally determine what the rest of my life will look like from here on out, I'm finding the life I previously lived to be boring, monotonous, binding and well - old. I'm most definitely in love with my Jesus, but the more time I spend with him these days, and the crazier the world around me becomes, the more I realize I am so far from living the life us Christians were charged to carry out. None of the fearless leaders in the Bible were bored - I can guarantee they weren't feeling bound, they were invigorated by the crazy, heart-pumping, adrenaline raising tasks God constantly put before them whether it be leading a silent army around walls of Jerico and blowing trumpets at certain times, building a massive boat secure enough to withstand winds, rain, waves and floods that were intended to wipe out the rest of the world, leading a generation of complaining Israelites through the wilderness for years and years and years without a "master plan", or housing spies God was using to demolish your city with the hope that your life may be spared....all of these Biblical characters lived a life on the edge. I'm sure they all had periods of down time, but for the most part their lives were hanging on every word God breathed into their hearts and they were able to push away the clutter in order to hear what He had to say. I crave that...I yearn for that and I'm desperately searching for a way to live that out within whatever career path I decide to take from her on. I'm so tired of going through the motions of "Christianity" without the passion, excitement, adrenaline and peace He has to offer. I'm not sure how things will begin to look different, but I'm on a mission to find the life that is most honoring, most glorifying and most powerful in the eyes of my Lord. =) I'm excited about the journey!

In the mean time, I'm off to the gym. (I'm pretty proud of myself for completing this update. It took me two days to write because...you guessed it, I got distracted. But none-the-less it's finished!) I hope everyone's doing well!

Lots of love blessings, excitement and adventure!!

d

2009-05-07T15:26:00.001-07:00

A Gust of Blessings and A Breath of Inspiration....

2009-05-05T15:11:00.000-07:00

So it will take me more than just one post to debrief you on the amazing things this past weekend held...words cannot begin to describe the outcome of the Wonderfully Made Conference and my time here in Santa Barbara, CA.

First of all - uh, how do I leave this place?! It's insanely BEAUTIFUL and the people here are so generous and kind - very warm and welcoming. I have yet to meet a stranger in this treasured place. California truly is the land of beautiful things - beautiful beaches, beautiful real estate and beautiful people (from the inside out).

The Conference - nothing short of amazing! It was a complete whirlwind upon arrival....
Thursday: flew into LA and drove to Santa Barbara. Headed to Ventura to pick up donations for the giveaways. Met my host family (amazing! the room they had set up for me had a little gift of chocolates and note pads marked with a "d" on my pillow and orchids and water bottles on my night stand...sweetest people ever!) Had dinner and crashed for the evening (loooong day).

Friday: We got an early start, making last minute preparations for the big day. We ran errands all over town and then headed up to meet with Meghan Incorvaia (the other WM worship leader i was playing with). Left to set up at the church and then had a rehearsal with Meghan that surprisingly went really well for our first time playing together. :) (God's so good!)

Saturday: The Big Day! Arrived at the church around 9:15am and was going non-stop....set up, sound check, run through, lyric input, etc....it was hectic! Girls began to trickle in early and excitement was brewing - the conference began with worship and media and an intro from Allie Marie Smith (founder of WM). From the beginning to end - walls were crumbling, hearts were softening and lives were changing (mine included). Jennifer Strickland (our keynote speaker) had an honesty and passion about her that made her story relatable and thought provoking. Girls were broken, hearts were healed and spiritual lives were challenged all in one day - it was so neat to be part of something so much bigger than myself. :) I am so humbled God chose me to be part of the whole experience.

I'm off to my last event before packing up - more to come soon!

Thanks for the prayers and encouragement! Lots of love, d

Short and Sweet...

2009-04-28T14:13:00.000-07:00

So two days till I head out to California for the Wonderfully Made girl's conference!!! Just two days!! Can you believe it?! This thing has been in the works for months now, it's amazing to think that it's only a few short days away! If you're in the Santa Barbra area, we'd love to have you join us! If not, keep us in your prayers - I know this is going to be a life changing event for many girls (myself included)! www.wonderfullymade.org

Job - the hunt may have come to an end for the time being...keep those fingers crossed! I'll know for sure after 6:30 tonight! =)

Favorite YouTube Video at the moment: This almost made me cry! I'm sure most of you have seen it, but if not, it's definitely worth the 7 minutes or so....Susan Boyle

Living Situation - I'm still praying about finding the right roomies and the perfect living location. I'm hoping to have this settled in a few weeks or so. We'll see what God brings along.

That's about all I have at the moment....I'm off to continue my prep for the conference! Keep me in prayer if you think about it...I despise flying!! Absolutely despise it! Not to mention this whole Swine Flu thing has got me a bit on edge. (I'll be in Cali during Cinco de Mayo :-\)

Hope all is well with you!

Much love,

d

Few and far between...

2009-04-15T17:57:00.001-07:00

It's amazing how my last post "Current Events" is not so current anymore. I'm a terrible person - my blog lacks the attention it deserves.

Anyways, I have more news! (Somehow, there's always plenty of news to share.) After three months of a jobless stay in Nashville, TN - I have alas, moved back home (for several reasons I won't go into, but know that my stay in Nashville was nothing short of amazing. I learned so much, grew in ways I never imagined possible and made lots of new friends! :). Some have asked if this is permanent, others have asked if it's temporary - my answer: it's for now. There are plenty of other things in the works at the moment and my only comment to the adventures brewing is this: time will reveal all. :) Sorry to be so vague, but I'm dedicating the many things ahead to much prayer and consideration before I make anything "public."

In the mean time, my job hunt continues. I have to believe that God has something very specific reserved for me, considering it's been so long since I've had consistent work. We'll see, hopefully it'll reveal itself soon - this waiting is tough!

During my stay in Nashville, I was able to delve into my love for songwriting. I'm excited to announce that I have a handful of new songs to share with the world! :) I'm so looking forward to sharing with you soon!

My most current project: Preparation for the Wonderfully Made Conference 2009! It's coming sooo quickly, I can't believe it! For those who don't know, I am leading worship for the WM conference in Santa Barbra, CA on May 2nd. I'll also be spending some time in LA with my old roomie for a few days after the conference - sooo excited! :) I LOVE Cali! (Wish my b could join me, I'm sad he'll be all alone here in FL for the week.) Check out the new website, it's finally up and running: www.wonderfullymade.org or check out their blog: www.wonderfullymadeblog.blogspot.com

Okay, that'll have to do for now - I'm missing my beloved LOST!!! Hope all is well with my sweet blogging friends. Looking forward to sharing more of the adventures ahead with you!

Love and blessings,

d

Current Events

2009-02-25T11:04:00.000-08:00

So I spent the day with an old friend yesterday, it was so neat to finally see her again. She was actually my roommate from Ft. Lauderdale and it's so funny that we live only a few streets away from each other now and haven't been able to spend time together until now.

We had lunch at a cute little cafe in downtown Franklin and then drove into the city and got ice cream at this adorable little home made ice cream shop in Nashville and just walked around enjoying the day. It's always good to catch up with someone you've shared so many memories with. I love that!

Here are a few photos from our walk in the city:

I've still had no luck with the job search. :( I've been praying about it so much, I feel the Lord just saying sit still and wait. I've registered with a few nanny agencies and I've put my resume out there several times and I've told everyone I've come into contact with that I'm looking, so I'm just going to sit back and wait for a little while and see if something opens up. As hard as it is to watch the days go by and the bank account dwindle, I've got complete peace that if He wants me here for an extended period of time, He's going to provide for me. In the mean time, I've set up my own little shop called dh refined on etsy.com (One of the most fabulous websites I've yet to come across, everything is handmade and it's so inspiring to search through the pages and pages of handmade goods. I could spend hours on that website, it's a scary thing!) and I'm selling a few things I've made. Check it out if you get a chance and pass the word along to your friends who may be interested. :) www.dhrefined.etsy.com

Here are a few photos of the things I've made:

I'm so very excited to say that the boyfriend is coming to visit this weekend (tomorrow actually)!!! I haven't seen him in 3 weeks and ah it's been so tough. His visit will be short and sweet, but I don't care, I'll take all the time I can get with the boy! It's been a more difficult transition for us than I had imagined. I haven't shared much of our story, but for a little background - we started dating long distance. He told me the night before I moved away for school in Ft Lauderdale (August of 06), that he liked me and he couldn't let me leave without knowing it (it had to be one of the most confusing nights of my life!). Needless to say, we talked on the phone almost every day until April of 07 and then finally decided to put a title on our relationship. We've been dating ever since, and I didn't move back home until October of 07, so we thought we were prepared for the distance thing again when I made the decision to move to TN but it's been a lot harder than we both had expected. I'm not sure how much longer we can endure the distance, but while it's tough, it has been so good for us. God has truly shown me where my heart is and He's showing me more and more each day that I can't live without him. I'm not sure what that means for my time here in TN, but until God makes that more clear, I'm just soaking up the time I have to truly focus on writing and spending time at His feet. :)

Well, I better get going, but I hope you're all doing well! Let me know what you think of the etsy stuff if you get a chance to look at it! :)

Lots of love and many many blessings,

d

Moving the Mountains...

2009-02-15T22:41:00.000-08:00

Gosh, time slips by so fast. I've been in the Nashville area for a little over a month now, crazy, huh? My time here has been so relaxing, however, I need a little less relaxation and a little more work. I've been on the hunt for a job since I arrived and still - no luck. I had an interview last Wednesday with a little salon downtown and I'm supposed to find out tomorrow if I got the job or not - it's been the most promising thing I've had come my way yet. Keep me in your prayers if you think about it, I'd very much appreciate that! :)

I think I can finally say I'm settled. I still need furniture for my room but I feel at home in my little space, I love my roomies, I've met some neat people, and I'm finally starting to know my way around town without any GPS help! (I was so very proud of myself the day I made it home without cheating) Spring has begun to tempt us with a taste of her glorious arrival, she's just around the corner and I can't wait! I hear Tennessee is incredibly beautiful during the Spring! It's been a little warmer lately so I've found a great little park to run around and it's just down from my apartment, I love it!

This weekend was a hard one, with being away from my sweetheart on Valentines Day, no job, a dwindling savings account and lack of direction in my life - I found myself a little down. I had two long, hard conversations today...one with the boyfriend and the other with the mother (dun dun dun...). The convo with the boyfriend will remain between the two of us - but lets just say that distance hasn't come as easily as it did before, when I was in south Florida for school. It's been far more difficult than I had imagined, it's definitely showing us where our hearts truly lie. And the conversation with the mother was, well - very mother/daughter-ish. It was typical mom advice on my current living situation, financial circumstances, relationship status and not-so-distant future, but it was nothing short of honest. I love that about my mom, she tells me how it is, but sometimes I just need a listening ear and a word or two of encouragement.

I initially moved to Tennessee because God somehow seemed to open all the right doors, but now that I'm here what does He have for me? That's been the major question weighing on my mind lately. I truly had very little to no expectations upon making the move, but now that everything has come to a screeching halt and I'm in a jobless standstill, I'm asking God "why?" A little background for those unaware : music is my passion. Leading worship gives me satisfaction like none other, the fact that God allows me to use something I'm so passionate about to help usher people into His powerful presence, simply blows my mind. Since before I could speak I was singing, He's been shaping and developing this love for sweet flowing melodies ever since; and now, I've got this great desire to use it to bring people closer to Him, leaving them at the feet of His cross and in utter awe of who He is. All that to say, my biggest dream is to travel the world leading worship, preferably at girl's conferences, speaking, singing, opening up and sharing all of my life with those around me. When I made the move to Tennessee (music central), I truly had no expectations musically, other than seizing the opportunity to be inspired by all the talented people and taking advantage of the time to write and pour myself into songs. I've been able to do that lately, but the more that I think about this dream of traveling the world, leading worship, the more defeated I feel. People around me look at it as an unattainable, unreachable, unrealistic dream...something so far from reality, that I might as well put it aside and focus on more practical things in front of me. Pursue more education perhaps? Seek after a secure career, one that will allow me to make ends meet and pursue the commonly sought after "American Dream" - marriage, house, kids, grandkids, etc? That's what will make them happy. But me? I'd be miserable. Missing the mark - neglecting a calling - putting aside a purpose, that's how I feel about walking away from my pursuit of sharing music. I've been thinking a lot about this over the past week or so and as I looked at the immovable mountains before me, I came across the lesson of the Withered Fig Tree. A story I've never thought much of until now. Let me share it with you:

(Matthew 21:18-22) "Now in the morning, as He returned to the city, He was hungry. And seeing a fig tree by the road, He came to it and found nothing on it but leaves, and said to it, 'Let no fruit grow on you ever again.' Immediately the fig tree withered away. And when the disciples say it, they marveled, saying, 'How did the fig tree wither away so soon?' So Jesus answered and said to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but also if you say to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' it will be done. 'And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.'"

So many things in this short passage moved me. First of all, of all the things in the world to display His glory, He uses a barren fig tree. Secondly - He rebukes the tree for being worthless and it listens! Immediately it withers - even the barren trees of this earth respond to His command. How much more shall I, a woman formed in His image, designed for relationship and communion with Him, respect His word and His command? How much more then shall I be used to display His glory? Next, the words He shares with the disciples - He gives us a challenge, "if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but also if you say to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' it will be done."!!!! He encourages me - a weak cluster of bones, flesh and asthma ridden lungs to challenge the mountains to move. And then (my favorite part of this whole story) He backs it up by a promise, "And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, YOU WILL RECEIVE." All I have to do is ask, believe and be the recipient of His wondrous works, promises and blessings.

With respect to all the wonderful people God's placed in my world around me, I cannot be tied down to your unbelief. I know I was created for more than the "American dream", making babies and ensuring that the world goes round - I was created to be a beautiful display of His Glory! All it takes is a little faith and I'll be moving mountains. I hope you grasp hold of that truth just as I have this week. Be reminded that you have been created with great purpose, to be a public display of His Glory. Whatever that dream, that promise that you know without a doubt He has handcrafted and so perfectly placed in your heart is - be strong, rooted in faith. Command those mountains to move and watch them crumble before you as you shine brightly, revealing His strength and fulfilling His purpose!

Speaking Truth...

2009-01-17T10:10:00.000-08:00

Good Morning to all! (I suppose good afternoon would be a bit more accurate - I stayed up crocheting with my roomie till 2-something AM and didn't fall asleep till 3:30 or so. I know, I live such an adventurous life! :)

It seems to be warming up a tad - it's 24 degrees as of right now. A whole 14 degrees warmer than yesterday, I'll take it! We were planning on going garage-saling this morning to find some furniture for my room and our balcony, but with this cold weather it'll simply have to wait. I'd rather sit indoors with my cup of hot coffee and search craigslist archives than freeze in someone's musty garage.

Do you ever find yourself in a conversation where you're just begging God to put the words in your mouth? It seems to be a common occurrence for me these days, but the coolest thing about it is that He does! Lately, I've realized how important it is to guard my heart with His truth and His Spirit. Working at a church didn't exactly require much guarding of my heart, but now that I'm living on my own in an unfamiliar place, surrounded by unfamiliar circumstances and people, I have to be on my guard. I desire to be constantly in tune with what He's doing and how He's moving in me and through me. It's so liberating, being in touch with my Creator! I stumbled upon another neat Psalm this morning : "Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who walks uprightly, and works righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart...He who swears to his own hurt and does not change....He who does these things shall never be moved." (Psalm 15:1-2, 4b, 5b) And check out what I came across yesterday in Matthew: "...do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak; for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you." (Matt 10:19-20) How fitting?! I LOVE how He does that. He just drops little bits of encouragement and confirmation in my lap just when I think I've gone crazy. I love how He desires to use me, even when I least expect to be used. This past week I've had so many conversations that have literally left me speechless but in the moment that my mind is racing to find the words to say, my mouth blurts out the most perfect piece of advice, encouragement or truth, and it leaves me in awe of the One who gave me those very words. I love my God. I love how He cares for me and delights in me. What a wonderful thing His truth is!

Hope you're staying warm today.

Much love and blessings,

d

In the quiet...

2009-01-16T13:05:00.000-08:00

Sweet Amber, thank you for your blogging accountability - you know I need it! :)

So I'm here! I've made it to Tennessee, and boy is it COLD! This Florida girl is sooo out of place! I woke up yesterday morning, looked out the window and thought, "hmm, it's a perfect morning for a run!" I put on what I thought was "warm clothes" and headed out the door. The air hit me like a brick wall. "Just get going, you'll warm up once your blood is moving," I tried to convince myself. A mile later I couldn't feel anything below my neck. "This is ridiculous," I thought, "I'm heading home." I got back to the apartment and ran to check the temp - 12 degrees and getting colder!!! I sat in front of my heater and tried to do anything to feel my legs again - 4 hours later I finally felt normal. Note to self : don't go running without checking the temp. Today is colder, this morning my weather.com app said 10 degrees but feels like 2 degrees. We're supposed to have weather below zero a little later this week - I can't believe people live in this all their lives!

Enough about the cold, Tennessee has been an adventure. The people are ever-so friendly, my new roommates are wonderful, the apartment is coming along (well my share of it at least), it's beautiful and wintery (quite a change from my flat, hot & humid homeland), and the best part - I'm at total peace about the entire move. My life has come to a screeching halt, I've gone from crazy busy to almost bored, but it's been such a blessing! I've had such a wonderful time "nesting" (if you can call it that at 21), creating my little sanctuary, cooking my own meals, catching up on my much missed quiet time and just relaxing. No agenda, no meetings, no stress and no pressure - it's been wonderful! I can't keep this up forever, I'm starting to get a little bored, but it's been nice for a few days or so. Before I left home, I kept feeling a tug on my heart saying "listen to me." I totally brushed it aside until I got here, but now that I've had time to listen, that little voice has become the music my heart sings to. My boyfriend and I didn't really do resolutions this year, but we did set a goal to go through the Bible in a year together. So far so good. It's been so neat going through it together, it makes the distance a little more bearable. A Psalm I came across has been resonating in my heart over the past few days of quiet, "But know that the Lord has set apart for Himself him who is Godly; The Lord will hear when I call to Him. Be angry and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed and be still. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness and put your trust in the Lord." Psalm 4:3-5 I've read that verse several times before, but this time it really spoke to me. He has set me apart for Himself and He's listening! :) I love that! So many days I feel like I chatter prayers on and on in my quiet time or just throughout the day and by the end of it, I feel as if I'm just talking to myself. Regardless of my chatter, He is listening, He hears me and He's delighting in me! Simple truth, but one that grabbed me.

Once again, it's been over a month since I last updated, so here are some pictures to make up for lost time. I hope you're doing well. I'm missing all my GB friends and family so much, know that you're all being thought about and prayed for daily!

Love and blesings,

d

(Sorry, they're all out of order)

My beau and I, counting down till 2009!

Downtown Countdown 2008

Beautiful Amber and I at the Downtown Countdown on New Year's Eve

Mom, Sister and I at the Women's Christmas Tea

Our MASSIVE but beautiful Christmas tree!

My new roomies! (Aren't they beautiful?! :)

Saying Goodbye for now. :(

One LAST photo

Annual Christmas Pics...

Change sweet change...

2008-12-17T23:42:00.000-08:00

It's 1:42 am and I'm absolutely insane for even attempting to explain all the recent events at this hour, considering I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. But as tired as my body is, my mind won't let me sleep - I might as well make good use of this sleepless night.

If you've been following my blog, you've probably guessed by now that I've been a little desperate for change. It's amazing how restless my heart had grown, if only I had known change was just around the corner. Let me back up a bit - About two weeks ago on a Sunday evening I laid it all before Him. I gave Him my hopes and my dreams, my frustrations with where my life is currently headed and confessed every nasty thought and/or action that had followed as a result of all my frustration - brutally honest to a God I was convinced was listening to everyone BUT me. I made a deal with Him (you know - throwing out the fleece, testing to see if He's really there. Of course I know He is, it's those human limitations that blind me from time to time. I need to be reminded every once in a while.) - if He opened a door, I would follow no matter how crazy it looked as long as I had peace and plenty of confirmation it was of Him. Exhausted after all my venting, I put aside my journal, hit the lights and fell asleep just as I would have any other night.

Monday morning arrived faster than I would have liked it to. My day began to unfold just as any Monday does, but this time it was filled with several thought provoking conversations. The first was with my cousin Jenny, who's currently living in the DC area. "How are you REALLY doing," she asked. "I'm restless if you REALLY want to know." And thus it began - a couple minutes into the conversation she boldly stated, "I think you should move to Nashville, TN. Go and pursue your music. Give your relationship some space to figure things out." Absurd - I'm not just picking everything up and moving to TN for no reason. I went on with my day. That afternoon I spoke with my old roommate who's currently living in Franklin, TN (just south of Nashville). We joked and laughed about old times and then agreed we needed to plan a trip to see each other and catch up. The memories made me miss her, hearing of her latest adventures made me slightly jealous (in a good way of course) - "Lord, I want adventure too," I reminded Him. That evening just before a practice, I sat down at my computer to check my email and what not and received a message from my friend Cait (who's currently living in Franklin, TN). "Come and visit," she said. "Better yet, move in with me! My roommate left and I need someone to fill the room by January. Think about it, pray about it, get back to me." Stunned I sat in silence. "Lord, is that You? Are you really speaking to me? Surely you're not answering my desperate request this quickly," I thought. Putting the offer aside, I went on with my night. By the time practice was over, all I could think about was that empty room in Franklin, TN calling my name. I went home and threw the idea out to my family and much to my surprise, they were very encouraging! (Definitely NOT the response I was expecting.) We agreed to pray about it for a few days and see how we felt. The last big hurdle was the boyfriend. I ran the whole thing by him and - shocker - he was encouraging as well!

A few days and lots of thought and prayer later I found myself sitting in the conference room with my two overseers, explaining that I'm moving to Franklin, TN! Crazy, I know! But I can't seem to deny that it's somehow got God's fingerprints all over it. Financially so many things have worked out that I never thought would work out, everyone I've told about it has been so very encouraging and supportive, and above all I have amazing peace about it. It's so amazing, I'm still shocked God answered my prayers immediately!

So here I am, just a few weeks from picking up my life and moving it to a totally different state. I'm certainly a little anxious, nervous, sad - but all that is mixed in with excitement and a sense of adventure! I'm going to miss my Brenton dearly, but through this I have already seen God change his heart and mold him more into the man I've been praying he becomes. God is so good. I'm going with no expectations, no job, no future (which, normally that would totally freak me out) but somehow in the midst of that I have incredible peace and faith that He will provide. So that's the big news for me at the moment. I should probably get a few hours of sleep now, but I'll be posting again to keep you updated.

All I can say is be honest with Him. Share your heart as David did - be a man/woman after His heart, passionate and determined - unstoppable for His Kingdom! :) Thanks so much for all the support and prayers! I am so incredibly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life!

Blessings,
d

Let me not forget....

2008-12-01T23:02:00.000-08:00

Remind me of Your promises, Lord.
Seal them in my heart, so that I may not forget.

Spread before me, Your blessings Lord.
Lay them out, so that I may not forget.

Sing over me Your love.
Lavish me, so that I may not forget.

Bathe me with your presence.
Let me be surrounded, so that I may not forget.

You've promised me a future and filled it with blessings, showered me with love and enveloped me in Your presence....yet, somehow I still manage to forget about all You've done for me.

Remind me of Your promises....

I'm alive, really - I am....

2008-11-25T06:18:00.000-08:00

I'm the least consistent blogger alive, I know - but I'm trying! :)

I hope this entry finds you well and anxious for the Thanksgiving holiday! I simply LOVE Thanksgiving. It's my favorite holiday of the year. Maybe it's because I can "officially" listen to all the Christmas music my ears can handle and watch Elf and Home Alone till my eyes can't handle the television's glow. I love waking up every Thanksgiving, Thursday morning and cozying up to the couch with a blanket and cup of coffee in hand as I watch the NYC Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. It's one of my favorite feelings in the world! I love spending all day with my mom, sister in the kitchen, preparing a marvelous meal for the family. I love the brisk air and the energy that Black Friday generates! I love picking out a fragrant Christmas Tree on Friday night with my sister and having the house all decked out in festive decor before the weekend's end. The list goes on! I could talk forever about how much I LOVE Thanksgiving! Needless to say, I'm pretty excited about this week!

So my dad introduced me to Pandora.com and I'm a self-proclaimed addict! You MUST check it out if you haven't already. You enter an artist you like and they create an entire playlist of similar artists. It's great cause it gives me music to listen to all day long!

Well, I better get going, but incase you don't hear from me this week, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

<3 d

2008-11-10T21:03:00.001-08:00

I woke up today with a bit of a scratchy throat (always a BAD sign). It was gone by 8:00am, but the aches and sneezes were quick to follow. I hope this clears up soon - this is certainly not the week to be sick! This week's unforgiving schedule includes leading worship for tomorrow morning's Women's Bible Study, leading tomorrow evening's Christmas Band Practice, Wednesday evening's Youth Alive worship practice, Thursday evening's Sanctuary practice and Friday night's camp-out, Sara's baby shower and Kayla and Nolan's wedding - I need a clear (nasal free) voice!!

As I mentioned in my last blog, I went gym shopping on Friday, and I believe I've come to my final decision. You see, Thursday evening after work, I rushed to the gym I've been going to for years now (when I say years, I really mean it! Most members have id's that are in the 1000's, my id was 20.) and as I waved to the familiar face behind the counter, I said, "20," and began making my way to the locker room. "Uhhh, wait a minute," said the man, "you're not a member here." WHAT?! It thought - not a member, surely he's mistaken. "I see you here all the time Danya, but it looks like your membership was terminated on the 22nd of October and your last day of membership was on the 30th." I knew my parents have been talking about letting go of their beloved gym membership to save a little money, but I didn't think they'd actually do it, they love our gym! The man was kind enough to let me go to one last spin class and told me to call the manager the following day to see if I could set up a new account in my name. I called the manager the next day and she couldn't do anything for me - no discounts, no breaks given the longevity of my family's support of their business, no mercy whatsoever. So all that to say - this weekend I found a gym that's giving me a student discount, offers a spin class, and is 5 minutes away from my house. :) I'm excited to give the new one a whirl.

Aside from a stuffy head and a cancelled gym membership - I painted my toes a pretty red tonight, and for some reason everything seems better. Red just makes me happy! :)

That's enough rambling for tonight....I'll share a verse that's been close to my heart before I go. I'm going to insert my name in here where it's talking to Israel, it makes it so personal.

"Sing, O daughter!
Shout, Danya!
Be glad and rejoice with all your heart, O daughter.
The Lord has taken away your judgements.
He has cast out your enemy.
The King of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst;
You shall see disaster no more.
In that day it shall be said to you:
'Do not fear;
Danya, let not your hands be weak.
The Lord your God in your midst.
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness.
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.'"

Zephaniah 3:14-17

I love that He rejoices over me with gladness and He quiets me with His love. I'm filled with peace when I imagine Him singing over me! What a great God!?

Have a lovely evening!
Much love,
d

Along for the ride...

2008-11-09T19:57:00.000-08:00

What a weekend!

From gym searching and outlet shopping to garage saling and photo taking - the past few days have been a whirlwind!

I spent the afternoon with my sister today (haven't done that in ages!) and while we shared lots of laughs and memories, by the end of the day I realized things aren't the way I've been pretending they are. Things with our world, with our country, with our economy - teetering on the edge of a cliff just waiting for one small gust of wind to blow the whole thing over. How'd it get this way? How did we get so far from being "the land of the free"? Bound by debt, bound by the fear of being "politically correct," and by dependency on our enemies - we're just moments away from self-destruction. The whole President Obama thing has left me in shock, I don't think I'll realize the magnitude of this election until we really start to see his promised "change." To be totally honest, I am slightly fearful of what the next few years hold. Not only as an American that hates to see the foundation of her country crumble to pieces, but as a Lover of Christ, I am fearful that my freedom to worship my Creator will be altered. This is the thought that has been haunting me all week.

With all of that said, this week I've been doing some "soul searching," if you will. I've been thinking really hard about where I'm currently at in life, where I'm headed with my job and my relationship, where my hopes and dreams fit in, etc. and each time I find myself coming back around in full circle - (with hands lifted in the air) I honestly just don't know. I feel like I should know by now what I want to do with the next decade of my life, but I haven't a clue! The more I think about it, the more anxious I get - the more I wish for anybody else's life but my own. <--- That, my friend, is the marvelous trap of the Enemy! I've been his little pawn, sitting like a stone - paralyzed by the great, unknown future that lies ahead of me, meanwhile making NO headway what-so-ever towards where Christ would have me be. And here's the truth behind it all - God's gently (yet somehow, firmly) saying, "Danya, hands off!" As usual, I shake my head back and forth nervously saying no while tightening my grip - but this time is different. As I tighten my grip, I feel a pit in my stomach - almost as if instinct is telling me that this is my last chance to obey, after this I'm on my own. "On my own?!" I can't do that! "But let go?!" that doesn't sound appealing either! Once I let go, I lose control of everything I've worked so hard to hold and I just know it'll all go spinning out of control, right? Gosh, I have it all so wrong sometimes. That should be my last fear, in fact, letting go should be a resort of hope. Obedience should bring relief - should something go wrong, I can rest in the fact that my "something gone wrong" will always result in His "something so much better." So here I am, hands pried open, heart unsure - letting you know I'm done for a while (wish I could say forever, but nature probably won't allow), I'm giving You control and I'm trusting You know my heart best. I'm finally here, along for the ride!

Beautiful Day

2008-11-03T20:36:00.000-08:00

The past few weeks have been a roller coaster - both emotionally and physically. It's been one event after another.

Last weekend, my dear cousin Ryan married his beautiful bride, Bree. I could not have hand picked a better girl for him...God knew what He was doing! :)

Thursday evening we celebrated the big 21 with Austin around a fire, with glow sticks and a bowl of chili in hand...

On Friday, Active and Focused Youth hosted an event called Light The Night - a 70's themed Halloween alternative. It seemed to be a success. I was busy manning the food tables so I didn't get pics of the evening, but it was busy busy - brand new skate ramps, basketball and volleyball tournament, worship by the 722 Band, and an open mic session.

Saturday was our annual Harvest Fest at the Gulf Breeze Rec Center...the event was a hit! I wish I had more photos of this one too - it was an event filed afternoon complete with all the cotton candy and blow up toys a kid could ever wish for, tennis and basketball tournaments, a rock wall, and live music from both CCGB worship teams and from Kelley Keenan and a little band Brenton put together.

After all that - they gave us today (Monday) off! Words cannot describe how badly I needed the rest! It was such a luxury! I slept till 8:30am, had biscuits for breakfast, had a nice (uninterrupted) devo time, took care of bills in bed, went on a jog and then headed to Brenton's on the beach. I was greeted with a brown paper bag with my name written across the top...he made me lunch! It was the sweetest thing....we had a picnic on the beach and watched the sunset. It couldn't have been a more peaceful day. The weather was perfect, the beach was calm and beautiful, and the lunch was delicious! To top it off, he bought one of my favorite fall treats - (I know it sound gross, but trust me on this one) hot apple cider and chocolate doughnuts, and we watched Home Alone (I'm kind of a Fall/Christmas freak).....it was a perfect day!

Take it all away...

2008-10-20T19:51:00.000-07:00

So many days I get caught up in pointless activities.
My mornings pass without one word to my Maker, my afternoons filled with busy work, my evenings are spent recovering from the busy day, my head hits my pillow with stress of the day clouding every thought....my heart neglected, my God put aside.

This evening I found myself listening to a dear friend's song and as I did, I felt a sweet, gentle spirit whisper over me - I miss you. The words left my heart a shattered mess.

It's been a constant struggle to find contentment where I am, some days are a success and others are far from successful. I so often find myself dreaming up places I'd much rather be, adventures I'd much rather be pursuing, yet returning from my thoughts to a mundane existence. Routines don't fit me, they never have and they never will. I crave a life rich in my Jesus and rich in adventure and exploration. I want to touch the ground my Jesus walked, I want to meet the people my God created, I want to experience other cultures crafted by my Maker's hands. I want to be active in it all, rich and well alive - seeing, hearing, tasting, feeling it all. Monotony numbs me, and that's just where I've found myself - numb. Numbly moving through the movements of my every day life. How do I escape it? It seems to work so well for everyone else around me and when I speak of the things my heart burns for, they simply don't understand. I wish they could see! It's the way I was created...created for movement and exploration, color and taste. In the numbness my spirit has been squelched, and I've forgotten how sweet intimacy with my Creator can be. I've forgotten that He delights in me. I've forgotten that He craves to know me, just as I crave to be elsewhere. I'm so sorry Lord - I want to feel again. I want to be rich in You, rich in life! Take it all away, all that's in the way of you....

"I was so lost and confused
I was so far away from the truth
For the purpose in me
I was made to love You
But I ran my whole life
To the things that can't satisfy
You opened my eyes
Tore open the night
And you gave me a brand new page
I never want to go back never want to lose track
I just want to see your face

So take it all away
All that's in the way of you
I just want you I just want you
Jesus you're more than I need
You fill me with life and now I see"

Words by Zeb Abalos

I will bring praise...

2008-08-27T06:49:00.000-07:00

Ignoring my alarm clock until the very last second, I woke up and scurried to get myself ready for the day. Packed a lunch, put on a pot of coffee, got dressed, did hair and makeup and was out the door in 15 minutes flat. Just as I pulled out the driveway I realized I left my cell on the charger, as I looked in the rear-view mirror to back up I noticed several spider webs in my backseat (yuck! as if seeing the massive roach scurry out from underneath my bed lastnight wasn't gross enough). Reluctantly ignoring the remnants of my nightly visitors, I threw the car in reverse and sprinted back to the house to grab the cell, in the middle of the chaos I managed to find myself humming Brooke Fraser's latest worship anthem "Desert Song." Racing back to the car, I jumped in and sped off, hoping my forgetfulness wouldn't cost me an 8:01am sign-in at work. Finally on my way, I start to sing "I will bring praise, I will bring praise, No weapon formed against me shall remain, I will rejoice, I will declare, God is my victory and He is here..." my song is cut off by the sound of a siren and flshing lights - I hadn't even gotten off my street. (Let me insert this piece of information : I've NEVER been pulled over in my 6 years of driving) Heart pounding, hands shaking, I glance at the clock as I reach over to my glove box to find my car registration card - "ugg, why did I go back for that phone?" I thought. Now I'm really going to be late, not to mention everyone in the city of Gulf Breeze is slowly passing me, looking hard to see who the girl driving the white Lexus is that's holding up traffic (needless to say, I'm glad I'm not singing in service tonight). 18 minutes and $106.00 later I soberly pull off the Methodist church lawn and shakily drive off..."Why God? Why? You do know that this just tops off my week, right? As if recovering from the flu, returning from a long weekend trip and jumping back into a full-time work routine without one day of rest wasn't already tough enough - you gotta add a fancy little ticket to the list." No response from God (at this time I'm ready to have a full blown conversation with Him), I just sat in silence, feeling nothing, hearing nothing, knowing nothing. After a few seconds of silence, the rest of the song I was singing earlier started to flow from my lips - "All of my life, in every season, You are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship..." the words stunned me, they resonated in my heart like a chinese gong in an empty sports arena. In every season, I have a reason to worship. One more thing to add to my life lesson list: He is still God and I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship. Once again, Humility. (See my last blog to understand this statement.) As a female who enjoys to talk (and sing), it's always shockingly humbling to have the words I utter put me back in my place; but I'm ever so thankful that He loves me enough to correct me. Today, I will bring praise because I have a reason to worship...

Comfort this confused little heart...

2008-08-17T20:28:00.000-07:00

HONESTY WARNING
(just throwing that out there...)

Do you ever just want an entire day of silence? A day to simply sit on the back porch swing with a nice tall glass of iced green tea, Bible and journal close at hand - no cell phone to interrupt, no agenda to follow, no job to report to, no responsibilities to tend to? No people. No noise. No plan. Just silence.

There's not a day that goes by that I don't wish I could just disappear and spend some seriously intimate time at the feet of my Jesus. My heart begs for that. To be free of the chains of this physical world and to be in the purest and most righteous of places - the presence of my Savior - with no physical limitations and with no time constraint. I know that's where my help comes from. I know that's where my passion will be renewed. I know that's where comfort is found. I KNOW that's where the author of this life will pour out His divine guidance over this confused heart.

It's amazing how incredibly different my life has unfolded. It's so far from what I imagined it would be. I certainly never thought I would move back home, be in a relationship and be working full time at my home church. (Please don't misunderstand me. I'm not complaining about ANY of this.) While all of these things are good, they're so very far from "my plan". Submission. That seems to be the theme of this season. First and foremost, submitting to "God's way" and prying my crooked little fingers off "my way", submitting to parents as I live under their roof, submitting to someone else in a relationship, and submitting to a job that I don't always understand. (Keep in mind, this is one strong willed girl saying this--you can bet brokenness has become part of my daily routine) So here I am, laying down all the broken pieces, trusting that some day soon the pieces will be picked up and put back together, forming a more glorious picture than I could have ever painted for myself. Patience. That's lesson #2. (I mean common, did I not learn enough patience living in a 3 bedroom apartment with 5 girls and one car?! Or over 3 years of carting whiny 2 year olds around town, desperate to entertain them?) Patience isn't just waiting, patience is finding contentment in an entire circumstance and finding a way to make sure that I use every ounce of difficulty as a character defining and strength building tool. True patience is more valuable than gold, because no matter what, you always come out a better person. Humility. Beautiful life lesson #3 would be humility. In my experience, humility is feeling your heart cry, "God I can't do this without You." Humility is standing before several hundred people on a regular basis and exposing them to your heart, revealing to them your flaws, and remaining silent when they cannot be pleased (otherwise, I'm no longer serving an audience of One). Humility is looking him in the eyes and admitting I'm wrong. Humility is lifting up my hands and accepting that I just need to surrender.

If you know me at all, you know that I don't know how to be anything but honest. I feel I've come to the end of myself, but I finally realize that the end of myself is where He's been leading me all along. It's not till I reach that point, that God can begin leading me into the beginning of Himself. So here I am, a broken mess - just waiting for those pieces to become that majestic work, so filled with beauty and elegance, color and texture, glazed with such sweet aroma, more valuable than anything made by mankind. I still don't understand how dirt becomes something of worth, but I've been alive long enough to know that my God does miracles, so I'm trusting that this little bit of faith will go a long way. ♥

Blog Fever...

2008-08-02T19:58:00.000-07:00

It seems like every once in a while, I'll get a random itch to write a blog, and yup...you guessed it - this is one of those random moments. So hooray for you (if you care), you get to read up on what's been going on in my little ole life.

Common knowledge to those around me : I just returned from vacation in California....it was wonderful! I made lots of new friends, slept in (this is such a luxury these days), relaxed by a beautiful pool, hiked up a really cool trail, ate lots of yummy food, burned a hole in my pocket at two beautiful malls, caught up with God, and spent some much needed time with the b/f and with family (by family, I mean Neil, Cece, and little one on the way). It was such a blessing to have an opportunity to get away...it felt like I could finally breathe again (figuratively and literally).

I'm sure I'm not alone in this, but I always feel a weight lifted off me when I'm away from my usual surroundings. I'm easily inspired and somewhat refreshed by foreign environments. Maybe it's my constant craving for adventure that makes me this way, but after returning from somewhere different, I have all these fresh ideas and goals. I guess I share all that to say (by sharing this with you, I'm hoping that YOU [yeah, I just brought YOU into this] will hold me accountable to seeing these things through) while I was away, I dreamed up a few ideas, set a few goals and have, as of this moment, officially set into motion a plan to see these things become a reality.

Goal #1 - Be more knowledgeable of the Bible and set aside more time for in-depth study
Goal #2 - Record my first full-length album (and have it released by January 2009)
Goal #3 - Do something with my design ideas (Designs x Danya)
Goal #3 - Be free from monotonous routines
Goal #4 - TRAVEL! (I have a list of grounds I want to set foot on before these feet stop walking)

I say this honestly : PLEASE please PLEASE feel free to 1: support me in prayer; 2: keep me accountable to seeing these things through before the end of the year. I have so much burning inside of me, yet, I feel I can't do anything about it because of lack of time, resources, and/or energy. 21 is a ripe age for making these things reality before I have too much responsibility, right?

Well, I think I've successfully gotten my point across (not to mention it's 10:32pm and I have to be up at 5:30 tomorrow morning), so I believe it's time for me to wrap it up. I plan to be updating soon!

Much love and blessings,
dh

Pics from the trip - Enjoy!

Dreary Days & PJ's

2008-01-17T20:18:00.000-08:00

Well, two days until my dear Brenton returns. This has, for some reason, been what feels like one of the longest weeks of my entire life. I thought surely it would pass quickly and he would be gone and back before I knew it; but man it feels as if I've been awaiting his return for an eternity.

This eternal week, however, has been a thought provoking and heart changing week. Yesterday was amazing. I opened my sleepy eyes to a dark and dreary morning. Buried under my warm, fluffy comforter and nestled into my pillows, the pitter patter of rain hitting my window seemed to lull my sleepy thoughts. For once my heart finally felt as if it rested in a bed of peace. Consumed by beautiful thoughts of my sweet Jesus, I found security once again. Somewhere between the shores of Gulf Breeze and Ft Lauderdale, all peace and security had been strung along the highways, beaches and marshlands. And yet, here I lay (finally) with all restlessness at ease and fear subsided, confusion silenced and strength restored. Not moving a muscle, I stayed buried under my sheets, my body like lead at the bottom of a deep ocean, just basking in this easy feeling--soaking it in for as long as I possibly could. Some time later, my tummy snarled at me, breaking my reverie and informing me that it had been neglected. I stepped out onto the cold wood floor and made my way to the kitchen. I looked out the window, gazing at the foggy haze hovering over the sea and at that moment decided, today was going to be a day of rest; a day of shutting out the world and all it's annoying tendencies and allowing my thoughts to escape and my heart to be silenced. I put a pot of coffee on and engaged in breakfast with my family. After visiting with family, I made my way to back to my cozy room, coffee in hand (mmm, something about the smell of fresh coffee on a cold, wet morning is just so comforting) and journal out, I began to write. Filling page after page with more thoughts and emotions than I knew I could humanly contain--what a release. As I wrote, a friend's name continuously came to mind. Exchanging my pen for my phone, I said, "Okay Lord. What's up with this? I haven't talked to this girl in, what seems like, forever and now all of the sudden I feel compelled to call her? Should you have something in this conversation for me, please let her pick up (for she lives in Hawaii and the time difference always seems to be a problem. Not to mention she's also a traveling missionary AND a newlywed, how the heck was I supposed to get in touch with such a busy girl?)." I dialed her number, one ring later I hear a voice on the other end..."Jenna?!" I stuttered, somewhat shocked she had picked up and so quickly at that. What I had intended to be possibly a 15 minute conversation, ended up being over an hour long conversation catching each other up on our lives and what I can't help but believe was divine encouragement. I LOVE those moments. You know...the ones where God seems to gently and lovingly meet your heart just where it is, whether it be through a friend or a family member or situation of some sort, He never fails. I am not deserving. Anywho, an hour and then some later, I hung up the phone with my heart completely calmed and my thoughts settled--I may not know where I'm going, but I do know that wherever this life is headed, He is in complete control. And there is where my heart finds rest.

3 months, 2008, Nicaragua, and Human Trafficking...

2008-01-16T22:03:00.000-08:00

Wow, I feel so rusty and well...so out of touch with the online blogging world. It's been far too long since I've even tried to write anything worth saying via keys and mouse. What's up with me? Well, maybe it would be best asked, what's not up with me? So much as changed in my life and more importantly in my heart over the past few months. As most know, I've moved back home to good ol' Gulf Breeze, FL and I've got a few things that may open up this week, but I so desperately need something consistent ASAP), I've been leading worship here and there at various events and venues, I've been writing and last but not least, I've been working on my guitar/piano/vocal skills in the privacy of my favorite place in the whole wide world (my bedroom). The past three months home have been so different than I imagined them being. Very good, but very different. I don't know why (I mean it is Gulf Breeze we're talking about) but I imagined my time home very busy and very short. I imagined coming home and knowing instantly what it is that I'm supposed to do and where I'm supposed to be for the next so-called "season" of my life, yet somehow I've had more down time in three months than I did for an entire year while living in Ft Lauderdale and still have NO clue as to what it is I'm supposed to be doing with my time. Weird how that works, huh? However, that down time has been spent exploring and dabbling in other gifts (aside from music), making up for lost time with my family and close friends, and more importantly, basking in the presence of my sweet Jesus (sadly, the quality of my personal "God-time" always seems to be sacrificed when I'm terribly busy-that's certainly something I need to learn how to balance). For the past three months I've been telling myself (maybe "lying to myself" would be the more appropriate and honest phrasing) that I would know after the holidays as to what God has for me, but here it is 12:30 AM on Saturday, January 12, 2008 and I'm just as clueless and confused as I was the day I walked out of the official "I love you guys, but I'm leaving" meeting in Lauderdale. 12 days and 30 minutes late...God, you're 12 days and 30 minutes late. And then it hits me...what am I but dust and breath that He so graciously continues to breathe into me? The moment He feels I've fulfilled my purpose is the moment He stops supplying that breath; it doesn't matter if I'm satisfied with what I've accomplished here, what matters is that I faithfully loved and served him right up until that very last breath. So here I sit, clueless and well, human and facing a brand spanking new year -- two-thousand and eight (it has a nice ring to it doesn't it? well, you don't have to agree, but I like to think it does). I'm twenty years old and I know I won't be it forever, yet somehow the world seems a daunting place. An intimidating and yet exciting place. So with that, I've decided that this year, 2008, will be the year of complete new beginnings, the year of truly finding my place in this world, not by searching, but by serving (it's easy to say that now, but I know it's going to be hard work considering how rotten and selfish I naturally tend to be). There hasn't been a day this year so far that I haven't found the song, "Lead Me To The Cross" on my lips or in my heart and I'm making that my prayer each morning, "Father, lead me to the cross today. Lead my feet to Your cross and Your cross to my heart. Lead me. Because I simply cannot lead myself." This I pray will also be the year of the Lord's favor. On Wednesday evenings, Pastor John Spencer has been going through a series of the vision for our church and last week his message was centered around two verse, one which stuck with me: Luke 4:18-19. It says this, "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because He has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." This year I hope to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor in my life. I hope and pray that He will be the hand leading and guiding my heart's deepest desires, leading and guiding my every physical step, and leading and guiding the beginnings of my future. I hope and pray to be the vessel He chooses to use, and I hope and pray to be one of many voices used to harvest the field. Matthew 9:36-38 "When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, 'The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.'" If you're reading this and you feel your heart even in the slightest way agreeing with what I'm feeling, let me encourage you to make 2008 your year of new beginnings, your year of the Lord's favor as well. I can't help but think that our time here is running short and we're being called now, more than ever, to be His disciples, to be sanctified and truly set apart, to be vibrant and creative, to be loving and yet honest. Each has a gift so unique to him or her, so please, let me encourage you to USE those gifts to further His Kingdom, to serve the sweet Jesus that gives us a beautiful new sunrise each morning and a breath-taking sunset each evening. He is so very faithful. (Okay, done with my soap-box speeches...I have no idea how these blogs turn into all that.)

On a different note, a few random thoughts:

As of last night I'm praying about going to Nicaragua this March. I've been itching to travel, and dying to go on a mission trip. God seemed to divinely place me in the presence of a woman who runs an orphanage in Nicaragua and needs much help and prayers for the children she cares for each day. So prayers for a consistent job sometime in the next week or two are very much coveted.

I'm still working on putting together a bi-monthly newsletter (it will be out before the end of this month), so if you're interested in receiving it send me a message with your e-mail address and I would be happy to send one your way. :)

Okay, one very important last thing and then I'm off to bed for the evening. I came across a disturbing e-mail this morning that left my stomach churning. Here's what it said:
The Internet has become a major platform for facilitating human trafficking, prostitution and sexual exploitation of children. Currently, approximately 4000,000 women and children are being prostituted in the U.S. annually. Surprisingly only 10--20% of prostitution is street-based. Behind closed doors, hidden by the anonymity of the Internet the exploitation of children is surging.
Craigslist, an Internet company well known for enabling users to conveniently advertise everything from jobs to housing, has now become a popular marketplace for the sale of human- beings. With its free postings and relative anonymity for its users, Craigslist's "Erotic Services" site has become a vehicle for the trafficking and exploitation of women and children. There have been numerous reportings of children falling prey to traffickers advertising on Craigslist and victims as young as four years old have been sold on the Erotic Services site.

So, I'm sharing this because YOU can help. Copy and paste this into your browser: http://www.love146.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=21460 and to your left will be a link titled "get involved" check out their solutions and please please please, if this makes you as sick as it makes me, do something about it. I'm going to personally mail a letter to Jim Buckmaster (CEO of Craigslist) and I'm going to encourage my friends and family to do so (they have templates already made up, all you have to do is print, date, sign and send---I'll even address and stamp the envelope for ya if you're too lazy to do so). I, like the person who originally sent me the email this morning, don't care to petition against things, but this, however, is a worthy cause.

James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." I believe these women and children fall into this category that James is talking about, so let me encourage you to live out your faith and stand up for those who cannot defend themselves.

Thanks for taking the time to read through all this. I hope and pray that this be the year God pours Himself richly and mightily into you and your life. Be blessed and be encouraged. Greater is He that is in you, than He who is in the world (1 John 4:4). Love you guys so much.

Many blessings,
DH